Connections to all stations but response from precious few, Shildon Railway FC - formerly, famously, the BR - marks its 50th anniversary in August.
Attempting to speed up the celebrations, club officials wrote to other "railway town" clubs - Crewe Alexandra, Horwich, Harrogate Railway - and heard from none of them until Doncaster Rovers came handsomely along.
Though the much heralded new railway museum opens just a couple of hundred yards away in September, no one there's getting up steam for the lads, either.
"I've been pestering them for two years because of the anniversary but unfortunately nothing has come of it," says club official Alan Morland.
Donny were different. Chairman John Ryan, who made his money from cosmetic surgery and is reckoned to have put £4m of it into his born again home town club, sent media manager Steve Utley up the line to see how they could help.
They met up in the King Willie. Since Utley's wife was from Newton Aycliffe, she remembered the name.
As a result, the club was presented with a painting of B17 steam engine Doncaster Rovers which now has pride of place in the pavilion.
Ryan, brought up in a council house in Doncaster, has - like most railway children - retained an affection for trains. "Apparently he's a bit of a Pete Waterman, has a big model railway in his garden and sits in his station master's cap running it," says Alan.
"A lot of Shildon lads moved to Doncaster when our wagon works closed in 1984, so it's a particularly appropriate gesture."
Ryan, now 53 and said to look pretty youthful himself, is probably best remembered for his last minute cameo at Hereford in April 2003 when he became the oldest man to appear in English senior football.
He'd begun at Transform as a salesman in the 1970s, sold the business and its 14 UK clinics for a reputed £20m in 2002 and boasted former page three girl Melinda Messenger among his most prominent clients.
"Doncaster supporters gaze upon their team like many may fantasise about Melinda," wrote a Guardian match reporter in 1998. "In both cases, there is little chance of scoring."
Since then, Rovers have enjoyed successive promotions. The ground, the incongruously named Belle Vue, has had a facelift, too.
John Ryan has become a South Yorkshire hero; in the town where the railways began, he's reckoned a main line sort of a guy, as well.
Shildon's Albany Northern League side, incidentally, is planning two matches in memory of Lee Hainsworth, the Stockton based player killed in a car accident on the way to training.
On Friday, July 16 they entertain a Newcastle United side - "Reserves, plus" says coach Tommy Craig - for the Lee Hainsworth Cup.
Eight days later, on Saturday July 24 (3pm), the Notts County first team - who beat Shildon in the FA Cup first round last season - will be at Dean Street to contest the Lee Hainsworth Shield.
Team manager Ray Gowan is hoping for big gates. "Lee was a lovely man as well as a very good footballer. We won't ever forget him in Shildon."
A large and very familiar figure could be spotted among the ecstatic Englishmen in the Estadio da Luz on Monday night - former Hartlepool United chairman Garry Gibson, who'd travelled to Portugal by car. "I've tickets to all England's games including the final, but I'm definitely not getting my face painted," he reports. There's bound to be a tale to tell when he gets home, he reports. We await it eagerly.
Cockfield, for most of the 1990s the all conquering major-minors of Co Durham football, will be pulling their boots on again in August.
After a couple of seasons inactivity, the 1928 FA Amateur Cup finalists were among seven new clubs admitted at the Crook and District League's annual meeting. Two years ago the Crook league, which plays on Saturday afternoons, had just eight clubs and was in danger of folding. Next season there'll be 20, with newcomers from Consett to Heighington.
"It's one of the best run leagues in the country, a reflection of the work put in by secretary Trevor Hudspeth and treasurer Clem O'Donovan," says league chairman John Priestley, coincidentally a former chairman of Cockfield.
All those extra games means they're also looking for more referees. Referees' secretary Brian Wailes is on 01388 766490.
Ever innovative, Whitby Town FC raised a lot of money for ground improvement last summer by bringing Showaddywaddy to the Spa Pavilion in the town. This year they've booked veteran rockers Slade for Friday July 9. Tickets, going fast, cost £15 and are available from the Nationwide Building Society, 3 Victoria Square, Whitby, N Yorks YO21 1EA.
Farewell to the 'Cockney git'
The funeral took place yesterday of Jack Thornback, retired deputy head teacher, vice-chairman of Chester-le-Street FC and one of the nicest men imaginable.
Born in Essex, he'd been in Co Durham more than 40 years but never lost the Ilford accent. Someone, affectionately, once called him a Cockney git. He was rather proud of that.
Jack taught at primary schools in Elizabethville and Ouston, a man passionate about education and caring of his charges. He loved all sports, had been a Northern League linesman, joined Chester-le-Street's committee on retirement in 1985 and helped produce an award winning programme.
Hell, he once said, would be a world without sport.
Jack, married to Grace for 58 years, was also an active member of Chester-le-Street Methodist church, where the funeral took place. "A man wholly without guile," said the minister, and a man held in the highest possible regard.
Racing is the answer for Riddell
He made more appearances and scored more runs for Durham County than anyone in their Minor Counties history, and was a board member in the early first class years.
Until recently, however, Neil Riddell hadn't seen a cricket match for three years - which helps explain why he's so delighted at Michael Dods's recent run of success on northern racecourses.
Dods, who farms and trains at Denton - a few miles west of Darlington - this week completed three doubles in four days, at Ayr, Musselburgh and Beverley.
Riddell is not only a friend and neighbour but has his horses with Dods and spends so much time at the stables he's known jocularly as the trainer's pupil-assistant.
"I'm very much into racing and golf, cricket comes quite a long way down the list now," says Neil, 56-year-old boss of a Darlington roofing firm.
"Michael has some nice horses and I'm very pleased for him. It's been waiting to happen for a month or so and he's probably been getting a bit frustrated.
"I speak to him two or three times a day and for what it's worth might occasionally put my twopennorth in, but he probably totally ignores it, anyway. Michael can do very nicely without me."
None of the recent winners has been owned by the former cricketer, for years a regular member of the Minor Counties representative side, though his wife Barbara owns Commitment Lecture which won earlier in the season.
Commitment Lecture? "It's what I used to give the kids when they weren't doing what I thought they should be doing," he says. "The commitment lectures became a bit legendary in our house."
Michael Dods, who also used to train Northern Echo, confirms that both the Riddells love their racing. "Neil likes to watch the horses work and is good on the form. Like several other people, he's handy to ask for advice."
Modestly, however, he declines credit for the recent gallop of success. "You get runs like this, you just have to bide your time.
"We're lucky that the races have come at the right time, that the rain has fallen where we hoped it would and that we have good riders. I just tell them what to do."
Stephen Riddell, Neil's son, is back from three years in China - "they don't play much cricket in China," says dad - and batting at three for Norton in the North-East Premier League. Chip off a formidable block, he hit an undefeated 127 two weeks ago - which explains the end of Neil's self-imposed exile.
Racing bug notwithstanding, he has no plans to apply for a trainer's permit himself. "Michael works tremendously hard at both farming and training and I've no desire to work that hard at my time of life," says Neil. "I'll just stick to watching the winners."
And finally...
Several readers - including the redoubtable Hails of Hartlepool - knew that Glossop's claim to fame (Backtrack, June 22) was that it was the smallest town to have supported a top flight Football League club.
Glossop North End were promoted to the old first division at the end of 1897-98, but managed just four wins in 34 games and were returned whence they had come.
Perhaps things had looked ominous after the opening first division game, a 9-2 win for Chelsea in which George Hillsdon hit five on his Football League debut. Is it, wonders Ron Hails, still a record?
North End were also backed by millionaire industrialist Sir Samuel Hill-Wood, later of Arsenal, who reputedly paid his players up to £35 a week.
Steve Smith, another who offered gossip on Glossop, today invites readers to name the only footballer - a much capped international - to play under both Jackie and Bobby Charlton in their respective managerial careers.
The column returns on Tuesday.
Published: 25/06/2004
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article