WITH each passing year one football season merges more seamlessly into the next. So Sir Bobby Robson and his Magpies are in Thailand without Craig Bellamy, who is injured. Is this 2004 or 2003?

Playing in the sapping humidity of Malaysia didn't appear to do Newcastle any good last season as they got off to a dreadful start, and after the costly exit from the Champions League we could have been forgiven for expecting a different approach to pre-season this time. But no, the need to maintain at least a semblance of familiarity with the breakaway trio at the top of the Premiership has as much to do with branding as playing good football in this era of global commercialism.

Why should Manchester United have a monopoly of the lucrative Far Eastern replica shirt market? Newcastle chairman Freddie Shepherd, who once spoke so scathingly of the Geordie fans who buy these shirts, is naturally with the squad in Thailand, where he and Sir Bobby apparently met the Prime Minister for tea.

This is the man who wanted to spend £60m of state funds to buy a seat on the Anfield board, which wasn't too popular with the Liverpool fans. These Scousers are not as daft as you might think as they still refuse to buy The Sun all these years after its unflattering comments about them in the aftermath of the Hillsborough disaster.

The Geordies are not as daft as Freddie Shepherd might think, either. And for all his hob-nobbing with Mr Shinawatra, Freddie will need some nimble footwork to dodge the flak back home if Newcastle start this season as poorly as last.

FOR a while yesterday it looked like being the Ferrie and Perry show at the Open. Both are called Kenny, but it was beyond the ken of the Radio Five Live commentators that Ferrie's Ashington home is in England. You'd think they would know exactly where it is after all the recent publicity about Steve Harmison.

It was good to see Ferrie doing so well after the usual failures of the other locals in their attempts to qualify, which has not been made any easier by the new procedure.

It has come under fire and there's obviously something wrong when Britons of the calibre of Justin Rose and Ian Woosnam can't get into the event while most of the field are relative unknowns. Woosnam might have won a couple of years ago had he not had a buffoon for his caddy.

Colin Montgomerie would not have been troubled by the crowd following the trio ahead of him yesterday - Riley, Hoshino and Sheehan. For all most of us know they could just as well be a firm of international financial advisers as three contestants in golf's greatest event. Shortly after them came Chand, Little and Felton.

There seems to be a disproportionate number of Aussies in the line-up, and most of them as unknown as M Goggin, who sounds like a character out of Postman Pat. But the course with the Postage Stamp was obviously to his liking. Another who is sadly absent is the big-hitting Angel Cabrera, leaving the old-stager Eduardo Romero as the only Argentinian, which presumably means they are concentrating far more on tennis than golf these days.

WHILE we Brits joke about relying on three-day eventing, cycling, and rowing for our medals, we should be grateful for the diversity of pastimes available to us. But it must be a nightmare deciding which of them deserves Lottery funding.

Of the 60-odd athletes who have been receiving financial support only half have achieved the Olympic qualifying standard and we don't expect more than three or four medals from them in Athens.

The 47 named in the Olympic track and field team this week was 19 fewer than expected. Four years ago 75 went to Sydney and brought back two gold, two silver and two bronze medals. This time we are so desperate for someone other than Paula Radcliffe to win a medal that we are tipping the men's 4x100m relay team, even though we suspect they'll drop the baton.

A medal prospect has suddenly emerged in 400 metre runner Christine Ohuruogu, who gave up netball to train full time only nine months ago. So what have the others been doing, who have been cushioned by Lottery funding for the last few years?

Suffering from the British disease of living in the comfort zone, probably, although one of the best supported, decathlete Dean Macey, has been injured since winning a World Championship bronze three years ago. He returns to competitive action in Hexham this weekend, still hoping to get to Athens.

WHAT a pity Shane Warne could only draw level with Muttiah Chuckalot in the series against Sri Lanka, rather than enjoying a brief period as the world's leading Test wicket-taker.

Until his year's ban Warne looked certain to be the first to pass Courtney Walsh's record, but at 34 he is two years older than his rival and may never be the outright leader.

Published: 16/07/2004