The latest ways to find a mate have revolutionised the dating game. Women's Editor Christen Pears meets a 47-year-old who found love the fast way and a new book explores romance on the world market.

PAM Cook was driving to work when she spotted the sign advertising a speed dating event. It sounded like fun, a great way to meet new people and perhaps an opportunity for a little romance. It never occurred her to that she would find herself a husband.

At the age of 47, Pam still likes to go clubbing and drives a sports car. Her job at Homebase gives her financial independence and the means to live the kind of life she wants. Confident and outgoing, she loves having fun and is typical of the emerging new breed of older women. Free from the constraints of children and husbands, they're swapping perms and knitting for liberated lifestyles and are enjoying life to the full.

"You don't realise until you get older that you're only here once and that you've got to give it your best shot and enjoy it as much as you can," she says.

"Age is just a number. Why shouldn't I go out and enjoy myself? When I go out, I sometimes think 'I wish I was 20 and thin' but I've been 20 and thin. I'm not now but I'm happy."

Pam, who lives in Spennymoor, married at the age of 16 and was with her husband for 21 years before getting divorced. Since then, she's had a couple of serious relationships. She joined several dating agencies but although she enjoyed herself, she didn't meet anyone special - "nice people but no chemistry". And then she heard about speed dating.

Speed dating is a relatively new phenomenon, offering participants the chance to have as many as 40 dates in one evening, spending just three minutes with each. The concept, which evolved in America, is based on the theory that it only takes a few minutes to know whether or not you're attracted to someone.

Pam says: "I like going clubbing but it isn't the way to meet people. With speed dating, you know everybody is there for the same thing. They're all in the same boat and even if you don't meet anyone you want to go on a date with, it's a good opportunity to meet new friends, both men and women."

She met Phil Shaw, a 42-year-old food supervisor, at a speed dating session but didn't click with him immediately. It wasn't until she spotted him on a night out a few weeks later that she realised he could be the man for her.

"I was out locally with a friend and I saw him across the room. I thought, 'I know him, I'll go and say hello,' and I did. He came back to the house with us and has never gone."

Sixteen weeks later, they're in the process of buying a house together and plan to get married next year.

"It's just there. It's so comfortable and easy. I've got two daughters and he's got two boys and I've got my grandchildren. It's a ready-made family. It's like the Waltons when we go out but obviously the kids want to go with me in the sports car because I take the top off."

Pam will be appearing on screen in a BBC2 documentary called Passion Never Dies, part of the channel's Time of Your Life season looking at the shifting perceptions of what it means to be over 50. The cameras followed her for a couple of months as she went speed dating, and she recorded her thoughts and feelings in a video diary.

"The organiser of the speed dating phoned me up and said some researchers had been in touch with her. They were looking for someone to take part in a documentary and I'm the kind of person who just goes along with things. It was kind of odd but it was good fun. I think people need to see that you can still have fun when you're older," she says.

Women have more money and independence than ever before and are waiting longer to get married and have children. The number of women marrying younger men has soared over the last 25 years from three per cent to seven per cent, and age-gap couples like Madonna and Guy Ritchie and Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are becoming the norm. Statisticians believe that because women are more economically independent, marriage has become less of an avenue to social status and security, and that makes them less willing to compromise.

Pam says: "I'm very independent because I've been on my own for so long. I do like my own company but that doesn't mean I don't like male company as well. I like to go out for dinner or a drink with a man. If it's just a bit of fun that's fine. If it turns into something else, even better.

"I've got a checklist. I wouldn't settle for second best. I don't see why I should. If I hadn't met Phil, I wouldn't have stopped looking, even if I was 70, but I wouldn't have been unhappy if I hadn't met someone.

"I'm content on my own but I think you have to be content in yourself first. If you're not content in yourself, you can't expect anyone else to make you happy. It just won't happen."

The lesson to be learned from her experience, says Pam, is just to go out, make the most of life and enjoy yourself. There's no point sitting around at home, bemoaning the fact you're bored or lonely.

"If you don't go out, how are you ever going to know who's out there? They're not going to come and knock on your door. You've got to make it happen for yourself, no matter how old you are." she says.

* Passion Never Dies, BBC2, Friday 9pm.