UNLIKE the male fantasy Stepford wives at the centre of his new film, life on the set of the Frank Oz's latest movie wasn't perfect. During the seven months filming of The Stepford Wives, there was talk of tears and tantrums among the high-profile cast that includes Nicole Kidman, Bette Midler and Glenn Close.

Oz, who worked on The Muppet Show, where he provided the voice of another strong woman, Miss Piggy, plays down stories of clashes or diva-like behaviour.

"In the heat of the moment, we had tension. But that happens in every movie," says the film-maker who previously juggled the heavyweight egos of Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro in the thriller The Heist, as well as teaming Michael Caine and Steve Martin in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

Perhaps it was inevitable that such stories would emerge given the nature of the story that adds a fresh twist to the battle of the sexes. Three decades ago the original film of The Stepford Wives - based on Ira Levin's post-feminist bestselling novel - told of a community where the wives were robot-like slaves in pretty pastel dresses, catering for their husbands' every whim. The latest version is a comedy with a satirical edge about today's consumerism and the pressures on women to be physically perfect.

Its three leading ladies know a thing or two about the demands of looking good and fitting into a mould in Hollywood. Kidman, who came to The Stepford Wives from her Oscar-winning performance as Virginia Woolf in The Hours, hadn't seen the original film, directed by Bryan Forbes and more thriller than comedy.

"But I knew what a Stepford wife was, so that said something to me, the way that it has become known in popular culture. Even though I'd never seen the film, I knew the term," she says. "And the reference for it was a blank robotic woman who looks perfect. So I rented the movie and thought we'd have to do it with comedic overtones, otherwise it wouldn't work."

Close admits things have changed a lot for women since the original film came out in the 1970s. Women have made great strides and are in executive positions, which wasn't happening before, she says. "Except we're in a strange kind of place of great insecurity, in the world in itself and certainly America. A lot of stuff seems to be objectifying women.

"I have a teenage daughter so I'm acutely aware of what our consumer culture is shoving down our girls' throats. You know, look a certain way, but then that makes you dangerous. So they're saying, 'Dress this way, look this way' but you'd better watch out because then you become something sexual. It's very confusing."

Midler, also mother to a teenage daughter, agrees. The people doing the targeting, she says, are absolutely without scruples. "They don't see them as human beings, they see them as these invisible things that they can get money out of. And it's kind of staggering that it's so pervasive," she says.

"When I was growing up if you were in the public eye and made any kind of mis-step, you were punished so severely. I remember when someone like Robert Mitchum smoked a joint and was drummed out of the business for a couple of years. Lenny Bruce was crucified for using bad language. The guy died in poverty.

"There was a time when the whole society would turn on one person who got out of line. Now there is so much misbehaviour. Your sports stars are using drugs to win races and play better ball. Actresses are porn stars. Things have really changed and I'm a 58-year-old woman - my head is reeling.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day when there's a reality show based on plastic surgery. It's so hard to absorb if you're at a certain age. To have seen all this change in society in such a short time really does take your breath away."

Close, twice married and with a 16-year-old daughter, feels there's nobody with any kind of moral authority, able to talk to people and unite them and heal them.

For Kidman, it's hard to protect children from some of the current programmes on TV that are unsuitable for young minds. "You work really hard at it," she says, "and you find out that they went to someone's house and watched a DVD, and you call up the mother and say, 'Hey, that was R rated'. I mean, you are constantly all over them."

One of the film's themes is that it's human to be imperfect and we don't have to all be the same. Kidman goes along with that sentiment. "Happiness is not found through perfection or even trying to achieve it. I'm nowhere near perfect and I'm not ever trying to be. Actually, the thing that I find most attractive in people is their flaws and imperfections."

As for successful women - and all three actresses are that in film and theatre terms - intimidating men, Kidman thinks maybe they're the wrong people to ask. "You should be asking men," she says.

"I don't see myself as terribly powerful or successful. I see myself more as just absolutely loving what I do. I have an opportunity to play an array of women that are fascinating and complicated, and that's a dream as an actress."

Oz and the actresses talked about whether men secretly wanted a Stepford wife, someone with a perfect figure, perfect looks and perfect obedience to her man's desires. He agrees that this is the woman of many men's fantasies but doubts if they'd like it full-time. "I think most men would become pretty tired of a wife who only did what she was told and had no ideas of her own. After a month or two of having fun, you'd say, 'Honey, what do you think?'."

l The Stepford Wives (12A) opens in cinemas on Frida