DO you know what your teenagers are up to these holidays? If you're unlucky, then maybe your neighbours will tell you. And if they do, don't get angry - be grateful. It could save an awful lot of trouble.

A village in Staffordshire has just served a record number of Anti Social Behaviour Orders on 11 teenagers who were making their lives hell - throwing eggs, stones and insults; blocking roads and damaging cars.

What made the case different was that most of the teenagers were from prosperous, middle-class homes, so couldn't use social deprivation as an excuse. The irony is that when the village mainly comprised ex-council houses, all was peace and harmony - it was only when families moved into posh new houses that the trouble started. One villager described it as a "war zone".

The sad thing is that it had to get as far as court.

When my boys did anything daft in the village - letting fireworks off, booting balls into people's gardens or driving too fast - neighbours were always quick to tell me, in the hope that I would stop them. And I did - well I tried, even if I didn't always succeed. We must all realise that our children aren't perfect and at least try and make them acceptable in polite society. As when the boys were small and older lads were bullying them, I tackled the lads and sorted it out before it had a chance to get too bad.

But I could do that only because I knew their parents. And I knew that their parents would react in pretty much the same way as I did. We had the same standards and values - which is why those one-time daft lads are now smashing young men.

About 50 of the Staffordshire villagers took six months videoing examples of the teenagers' bad behaviour, which makes you wonder what the parents were doing while all this was going on.

Teenagers have a talent for trouble - always have done, always will. But we used to have a much wider agreement of what was acceptable behaviour. Somewhere along the line, we seem to have lost that.

Enjoy the summer holidays - and let's hope the neighbours don't come knocking too often.

WALKING round Slingsby near Malton one evening last week, I bought potatoes, beetroot, beans, a cucumber and some pots of herbs.

All of them came from rickety old tables placed at people's garden gates, with a little note of prices and a jar to put the money in. I spent all my loose change and wore a little track back and forth to the car with my shopping, all of which was fresh and delicious as only home-grown veg can be.

It was a splendid summer evening. And if a stranger can walk round a village and do business entirely on trust, then this country is still a lot more civilised than we sometimes give it credit for.

Why Tony's not

the only old-timer

TONY Blackburn, 61, has celebrated 40 years as a DJ. As someone who remembers him on Radio Caroline in the 60s, that's a thought-provoking moment.

Even worse is the fact that I remember him playing the very first record on the very first day of Radio 1 - it was Flowers in the Rain by The Move. Worst of all, I thought it was really exciting.

Now that really DOES make me feel old.

THE Government has spent £8m on a booklet telling us what to do in the event of disaster, from flood to terrorist attack, and probably a plague of locusts too.

Much of it is common sense - tinned food, torch, bottled water, wind-up radio. Standard winter provisions for us hicks in the sticks. But I don't think it will be as riveting as the last booklet they produced, which told us that in the event of a nuclear attack we should hide under the table and whitewash our windows. The new booklet might be useful, or it might be patronising, or it might be likely to make us more anxious and jumpy.

But as most of us will immediately file it in the bin, behind the microwave, or in the cat litter tray, I guess we'll never find out.

NOW it seems that the last thing you should feed your children on is children's food. Most of the things on children's menus in pubs and cafes tend to be full of fat, calories and salt. What a surprise.

They also tend to taste pretty disgusting.

But remember - the children's menu is not compulsory. Most places, if asked nicely, will happily give you a small portion of something proper. And if your children don't like "proper" food, then maybe it's time they learnt.

WELL the school holidays have started and the streets are alive with parents yelling at their kids, dragging them along and threatening never to buy them another MacDonalds EVER again. But if you're thinking of taking your children on an outing, maybe you should think again.

A survey by credit card company More Than revealed that on a typical day out, nearly a third of parents had lost their temper with the children, a quarter had argued with their partner, and more than a quarter had found the driving so stressful that they wished they hadn't bothered.

So forget the day out - stick the kids in the back garden with the paddling pool and a pack of crisps instead. It will be an awful lot cheaper - and probably a lot less stressful.

www.thisisthenortheast.co.uk

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Published: ??/??/2004