BIG, bigger and biggest, many of the team who took Hartlepool United to promotion in 1990-91 reunited on Sunday for a match to inaugurate Horden CW's spanking new facilities.
"We sympathise with them in their efforts to get fit," wrote club chairman Norman Stephens in the programme, though Pool legend Brian Honour was so keen he'd been training in the clubhouse the night before.
Horden has more Honours than most of the British army's top regiments.
Also in attendance was 61-year-old Norman Corner, former Horden miner and Football League player from an earlier age, who's been feeling the effects of the sporting life.
"I've had two hip replacements, a triple heart bypass, things wrong all over the place," said Norman cheerfully. "I put it all down to football but if I could I'd have me boots on and be out there in five minutes. I'll just have to wait until I get better."
He'd played for Horden, improbably for one season in the Midland League, from 1958-62 - "a big lad but a good 'un," they recalled - took no ticing when Hull City shouted down the pit shaft.
"There were times down there when you literally couldn't see a hand in front of you, not if it was two inches from your eyes. Those miners, and especially all the crippled ones, deserve all the money in the world," said Norman.
After three seasons at Hull, he made 45 League appearances up front for Lincoln and 110 for Bradford City. While at Hull, he was also coveted by young Hartlepool manager Brian Clough. Hull Boss Cliff Brittain wouldn't let him leave.
"There weren't any agents in those days. Cloughy kept ringing to tell me to get meself back home, but Cliff wouldn't have it. There weren't many who stood up to Brian Clough, even then."
When he did return to his roots, he became manager of the phenomenally successful Wingate side which in one 70s season lost just a single match, winning 11 trophies.
"It was nice to have had a bit of green in front of the house, but there was still no place like Horden," he says.
Since there are no longer Horden colliers, no longer a tanner out of the weekly wage packet to help sustain the soccer, the Football Stadia Improvement Fund has given £98,000 towards the £120,000 cost of the transformation of the dressing, administrative and hospitality facilities at what's still called the Welfare Ground.
Horden Parish Council, winners a few years ago of an award for Britain's best cemetery, have received a £1.8m Lottery grant to revitalise the rest of the park. Nine days ago they struck up a concert to mark the 75th anniversary of the bandstand.
"Every time I pass I take a peep at the field through the fence," said Norman, now retired. "They've come along in jumps."
In what generally is termed cricket weather - the cricket ground's out the back - the old sweats did pretty well, full back Rob McKinnon in particular overlapping down the left in the manner which captivated the Pool and subsequently brought him full Scottish honours.
The facilities were opened by club sponsor Simon Smith of SJS Civil Engineering and by Hartlepool manager Neale Cooper, persuaded to buy £2 worth of tickets by champion raffle seller Sylvia Wood, who could part a misanthrope from his money.
Cooper's an affable Scot. "I'm sweating even more now," he said.
The resurgent club, marking its centenary in 2008, plays its first home Albany Northern League game against Tow Law on August 18. On September 4 they've born again Telford, plum draw, in the Cup.
"At least," said Norman Stephens, "they'll know they've been to a proper football ground."
Still with Hartlepool, the season's first issue of Monkey Business fanzine carries a photograph of Pool fan Ken Lynn, exiled to New Zealand, standing proudly in front of his car.
The registration's HANGUS, the same name as the monkey mascot. They do things differently down there.
Monkey Business has mentioned their "trans-Atlantic" fan before and thus is obliged to issue a correction. "Auckland," they concede, "is on the other side of the Pacific."
the FA meeting on Thursday went pretty much as expected. No minders, like firemen always burly, guarded the door; there was no secret location, though it was tricky enough to find for all that.
Regional officials met in Woodlesford, somewhere near Leeds, further to protract the eternal issue of non-league restructuring.
Though contentious enough, the details need not concern sensitive readers.
Just one story had seeped through from Soho Square, concerning the double bed which in Svengate's salacious slipstream had been delivered to the FA's front door.
An FA man, for once refusing to take things lying down, rang upstairs to ask the gaffers what should be done with it.
"What's it like?" demanded the high-up.
"Well, it's got an England duvet on," said the unrestructured minion.
"Don't let it in," said the gaffer, "it's probably from The Sun."
TO mark his FA Cup final appearance and his retirement from the Premiership middle, Teesside referee Jeff Winter has been enjoying a holiday in Australia.
Thanks to the joys of technology, however, there's not even a hiding place down under.
Jeff's mobile rang. "It's Stuart Alderson at West Auckland," announced the caller, "can you do our match on August 29?"
The match, in aid of the British Heart Foundation and in memory of Paul Adamson - prolific goal scorer, enthusiastic referee, lovely lad - will be between the present side and a team of Adder's friends. It starts at 2pm.
With a bit smaller phone bill in prospect, anyone keen to play is asked to ring Stuart on 01388 834211. The referee will be Jeff Winter.
Eagerly, perhaps even on tenterhooks, readers have been awaiting the result of the question posed two weeks ago by Newcastle United programme editor Paul Tully: the five Magpies who've appeared in the Premiership whose surname begins with the letter "R".
Paul didn't supply the answer. When finally we run him to ground, he is apologetic. There were only four.
(This, it should be said, was the conclusion vehemently reached by Hails of Hartlepool and by his technological amanuensis, Uncle Albert Kelleher.)
The chap who'd first put the question to Paul supposed Ray Ranson to be one of the five - but he never played in the Premiership.
The four are Lauren Robert, Ian Rush and Paul and Mark Robinson. R's over tit, that's enough of that.
And finally...
The six North-East football grounds on which England have played full internationals (BackTrack, August 6) are Ayresome Park and Riverside Stadium in Middlesbrough, St James' Park in Newcastle, Roker Park and the Stadium of Light in Sunderland and - the killer - England 4 Wales 1 at Newcastle Road, Sunderland on march 7 1891.
Ten thousand watched the match, about the same as witnessed the Northern League game between Middlesbrough and Stockton - "a vast concourse of spectators", reported the Echo - the same afternoon.
The more curious thing, perhaps, was that England simultaneously played Ireland at Wolverhampton, winning 6 - 1. Eight years later at Roker Park, Ireland went down 13 - 2.
Brian Shaw in Shildon today invites readers to name - preferably without consulting Rothman's - the first fouth division side to reach the Football League Cup final.
Fourth estate, the column returns on Friday.
Published: 10/08/2004
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article