What the body, not the mouth, is saying

Naked Celebrity (Ch5)

AS A celebrity gossip junkie who loves a good romance I was hooked on this show, which lifted the lid on the real lives of the famous.

While showbiz couples may seem to float on air as they wander arm in arm down the red carpet, some very subtle movements can paint a totally different tale.

Body language expert Judi James claims she knew that Charles and Diana's wedding was a sham years before they broke up and she has pinpointed the exact moment that the public passion cooled for Nicole and Tom.

Researchers must have trawled through hours of footage to find the best examples of duff body language and some of the freeze frames the show concentrated on were inspired.

Watching David Gest try to swallow Liza Minnelli whole at their wedding ceremony was stomach-churning and slightly absurd - Liza obviously agreed and pulled away as if she'd been hit with a wet fish (which in a way she had). Hardly surprising then that the marriage didn't last, although one showbiz expert did point out that the bizarre wedding and its fall-out provided Liza with a much needed revival, so maybe it was all worth it in the end.

Ben Affleck made his feelings for J-Lo clear on GMTV when he was asked if he loved the pop diva - he refused to answer and instead declared his undying love for Eamonn Holmes! And if you are worried about the Beckhams' marriage, you should be - repeated footage showed David in recent months being less and less bothered about his lovely wife and failing to fall for her attention-seeking tantrums. If Becks wanted to hide his feelings he should have taken lessons from Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas: according to the experts, their every movement screams how much they feel for each other. The same goes for Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes, who were shown enjoying a real kiss away from the cameras rather than faking it for the press.

But the funniest set of clips were reserved for Cherie and Tony Blair, not a marriage in crisis but one which could do with some work if you believe in body language. Scene after scene showed Cherie failing miserably to be the perfect politician's wife. She looked distracted, pulled up her trousers in full view of the world's media and even burst into song - compared to Nancy Reagan (the ultimate pro) she looked like a dodgy housewife at a karaoke night.

Not that Tony helps matters - pushing in front of his wife, moving away from her embraces and totally ignoring her on numerous occasions. Someone really should tell him to turn that famous grin in his wife's direction before she does something even more ludicrous and over-the-top to attract his attention.