THE man credited with founding the modern Olympics, Baron Pierre de Coubertin, was intent on harnessing sport and education to improve society (British government, please take note). But he felt that the Olympics with women would be "incorrect, unpractical, uninteresting and unaesthetic."
When the first athletics final in Athens, the women's shot, opens next Wednesday, to most male eyes it will indeed be unaesthetic. But we will find the beach volleyball extremely pleasing.
Before my legions of female readers accuse me of sexism, I should point out that my most fervent wish for the next 16 days is for Paula Radcliffe to win marathon gold. Paula is delightfully feminine rather than sexy, yet she has a steely determination which makes her very special.
At the last Olympics she cut a sad figure after finishing fourth in the 10,000 metres, yet again denied a medal in a sprint finish. It would doubtless have seemed as unnatural to de Coubertin for women to run 26 miles as to putt a shot, but the marathon has given Paula her chance of immortality and I'd be happy to watch her every step of the way.
The Greeks gave us the marathon through a humble messenger named Pheidippides and they gave us the Olympics. The only downside to the Games' homecoming is that the modern version is so far removed from the ancient ideal.
I am not against bringing the girls to the party, but I find it sad that one of the personalities of the Games promises to be a 7ft 5in Chinese basketball player named Yao Ming who apparently earns £2.5m a year with the Houston Rockets.
Paula, of course, earns a few bob from her running. But at least her's is a personal triumph of effort and will, rather than an exploitation of unusual physical attributes within an over-hyped American team context.
I won't be watching the basketball, or the baseball, handball, softball, football or men's volleyball.
WOMEN'S volleyball could be described as a totally different ball game. We males watch it for reasons unconnected to the ball, which probably sums up why we have little interest in women's sport in general and why Baron de Coubertin held his sexist views.
Female athletes, as long as they are not throwing something, are an exception. Sally Gunnell remains a national favourite, Mary Peters was no oil painting but has maintained her popularity since winning her pentathlon gold in 1972, and Denise Lewis will have huge support in her injury-plagued defence of her heptathlon crown.
She will be challenged by another Briton in Kelly Sotherton, while in the modern pentathlon no British males have qualified but in the women's event we have Kate Allenby and Georgina Harland aiming to follow in Stephanie Cook's Sydney footsteps.
Despite Dean Macey's presence in the declathon, it seems that in multi-sport events the girls are taking over. Any medal for a British male athlete will be a surprise and the one consolation is that we are not alone. The Aussies don't even have a representative in the men's 800m, 1500m or 10,000m.
Where are the male pentathletes? Baron de Coubertin envisaged that a combination of riding, shooting, fencing, swimming and running would produce the kind of swashbuckling hero to make the ladies swoon.
Would he turn in his grave if he knew how the balance had shifted?
AFTER gold for Paula, my second greatest wish is for a fourth gold for Matthew Pinsent in the coxless four. I gather the girls also have a very good chance in the coxless pairs and quadruple sculls.
Then there's Melanie Marshall and Katy Sexton at the forefront of the British swimming team, who carry my third wish - that they live up to the expectations generated under the direction of Bill Sweetenham. Our swimmers were known as the party people at Sydney and returned without a medal. This time, we are assured, it will be different, despite the continuing lack of investment in 50-metre pools.
THE Olympics will sadly not overshadow the kick-off of the Premiership season, in which I will mix reality with fantasy by hoping that Everton are joined in the drop by Chelsea and Arsenal. The other big event which will be overshadowed is the USPGA Championship. It is always the least interesting of golf's majors, but at least the field includes Ian Woosnam and Justin Rose, casting further ridicule on qualification for our own Open, from which they were sadly absent.
AS most of this column has been devoted to the increasing influence of women in sport, what of Faria Alam? The poor, dear girl wishes us to believe that she is a victim of her love for Sven, and she certainly doesn't come across as a tart. But it's not difficult to argue that she has prostituted herself if she has made £750,000 out of media deals. And for his part in setting up such sordid activity, Max Clifford reinforces his position alongside the ex-Hartlepool MP as one of the most objectionable men in Britain.
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