The mother of an abusive teenage son was so desperate to control him that she pleaded with magistrates to give her a parenting order. She talks to Alison Lewis.

SUSAN had reached her wits' end with her 14-year-old son Kieran. He was in trouble again with the police and had been found guilty of criminal damage. He was out of control and she wanted him to be locked up. "The first time he was in court was for burglary," she explains. "But it's not so much going to court - he has been to the police station more times than he has been to court. He was locked up three times in a week at one time."

It was his criminal behaviour, argumentative nature, use of cannabis, refusal to go to school and the numerous nights he stayed out without Susan knowing where he was, that caused her to take drastic action.

She pleaded with magistrates in the North-East town where they live to give her a parenting order, not to punish her, but for support she badly needed.

The 32-year-old says: "Kieran has always been naughty, he has his ups and downs really, but over the last two years he's been really difficult.

"Before I went to court it had got really bad. If I went out, I would come back and find he had his friends round in the back room, and I could smell the pot they'd been smoking. We would get into an argument, he was so abusive to me. I can't have that, I have other children in the house and I don't want them copying him."

When Susan stood up in youth court to tell the magistrates how difficult a time she was having with her son, he answered her back, showing his lack of respect for her and the court. But Susan says that since the court appearance, Kieran's behaviour has improved.

"I think I shocked him. He said to me after court 'I can't believe you did that', and I told him it was a warning. I won't put up with it any more. I have always stuck up for him, but I told him I wouldn't do it any more."

Prior to his court appearance, Kieran was already the subject of an anti-social behaviour order (ASBO). "He has been out of control," says Susan. "The ASBO means he has to go back to school - it's part of the conditions."

She explains that he stopped going to school before the summer holidays and that, in some ways, she preferred him to stay at home because if he went to school, he wasn't there long before he got bored and left, and she wouldn't know where he was.

"He finds it difficult to sit down for any amount of time. It's about 15 minutes and then he will be up causing havoc in the classroom. He has always been disruptive. Looking after him is like looking after three children. I just want to get him back on the straight and narrow and not have the constant rows. He threatened me once with a kettle - he is very short-tempered and can smash things up. But I'm not frightened of him," says Susan.

As part of the order Kieran received, he has to see a drugs counsellor to discuss his use of cannabis. Susan wants him to stop smoking drugs and has even got rid of the equipment he uses, but to no avail.

"He doesn't drink, but he does smoke cannabis. It's up to him to stop that. I want him to stop smoking pot, but at the end of the day if he wants to smoke it, he will and I can't stop him. It has to be his decision," she says.

Susan split up with Kieran's father, a heroin addict, soon after he was born, and has two other children from another relationship. She accepts that Kieran hasn't had an easy time, having seen her being beaten up by one partner and having a nervous breakdown seven years ago. "He saw all of that and so in some ways, I can't blame him for some of his behaviour now. He keeps a lot of what he must feel to himself - he doesn't talk about things much," she says.

But now Susan hopes that with support from the parenting order, she will be able to help him turn a corner. "There will be other parents there, even some dads. You listen to each other's problems and everyone can make suggestions. It's good, it shows you you're not alone," she says. "Lots of parents don't care, but I do, I have to. Everyone else in the family suffers because of Kieran's behaviour. As well as the arguments, paying his fines costs money that could be spent on other things."

* All the names in this article have been changed.