This Is My Family (BBC2): Paul and Claire have just been told that their baby Reese is deaf. They are overjoyed. It's what they wanted and hoped for.

This may seem like a strange reaction but the couple are both deaf and said, from the beginning of the pregnancy, that they would prefer their child to have hearing problems.

Claire admitted their views might shock hearing people although, in the end, all anyone, deaf or hearing, wanted to be was a good parent. Their different upbringings had shaped their feelings and brought them to the same conclusion.

The "we want our baby to be deaf" decision hung over the documentary as cameras followed the couple through pregnancy, birth and their wedding - giving an insight into what it's like to live without hearing.

Claire comes from a family of deaf people. Her parents and two brothers are all deaf. Communicating through lip-reading and signing is a way of life that comes naturally, just as it will for young Reese.

Paul, on the other hand, was the only deaf person in his family and grew up lip-reading. He was sent to a deaf boarding school where the teaching was oral. His mother Lesley was told not to learn sign language as it wasn't allowed.

This had clearly had an effect on Paul, who doesn't believe in cochlear implants for deaf people that could help transmit sound. He felt this was treating deaf people "like guinea pigs".

By observing family life, the cameras clearly showed up the differences in the couple's upbringings.

Claire's mother Jean called the deaf a "linguistic minority", not disabled. "We can walk, we can drive, we can write. The only difference is we can't hear," was her view.

Claire admitted that she didn't hit it off immediately with Paul's mother, who was learning Spanish and French but hadn't learnt sign language to communicate with her son.

Her hen party showed what it's like to be different, only this time Lesley was the outsider. Surrounded by her prospective daughter-in-law's deaf friends and family, she was left at a loss to understand what was going on.

Jean told how, of the 100 guests at the wedding, only 15 would be hearing. There would be no provision to help them understand what was being said in sign language. In the past, she and husband Alan had attended weddings where they couldn't hear what was being said.

The film didn't take sides but it was difficult not to cast Lesley as the villain of the piece, someone more concerned with other people's reactions than those of Paul and Claire. She told of being "devastated" on learning Paul's girlfriend was deaf, being both tearful and embarrassed when she had to tell other people this fact.

The wedding seemed to bring everyone together at last, hopefully not just for the benefit of the cameras, as Paul and Claire taught Lesley how to sign "I love you".

But I suspect the discussion on whether they were right to want their baby to be deaf is only just beginning.

Published: ??/??/2004