Horizon: Derek Tastes Of Earwax (BBC2)

Make Me A Perfect Wife (C4)

IF the date had been April 1, I'd have been very suspicious of the Horizon programme. Surely it was a joke, you thought, as we met John who doesn't just hear words but tastes them.

When pub regular Derek orders a pint, barman John gets a taste of earwax. Another customer tastes of wet nappies. "It doesn't sound very nice but is not a strong flavour," he said. And if you handed him a fiver, he'd taste strawberry jam sandwiches.

Compared to Derek, the woman who sees spoken words spelled out letter-by-letter in front of her on a tickertape seemed quite sane.

They all suffer from synaesthesia, in which the senses get mixed up. Hearing John's tasty comments you could understand why scientists didn't believe people like him for many years. They put it down to an overactive imagination or even drugs.

Now there's proof they're not crazy, that it's an authentic sensory process and not a trick of the memory or imagination.

All intriguing stuff but not half as compelling as Make Me A Perfect Wife, a reality TV show in the Wife Swap mould. Five women have agreed to give up work for a month, to look after the home and children, and to submit to their husband's every whim. Sounds a bit like slavery to me, but women have been saying being a housewife is just that for ages.

The basis for this experiment is the notion that 30 years ago women were told they could have it all - a high-flying career while being a domestic goddess, an angel with the children and a whore in the bedroom. Today, nine out of ten say it's impossible to be superwoman, while men claim women have lost all respect for them.

The series is a recipe for domestic disaster and, who knows, divorce. Perhaps the most fascinating couple are Mark and Debbie, who live in a small house with six children and a dog. Househusband Mark has another six children by a previous relationship. Already he's thrown out mortgage broker Debbie's clothes as being "too short", "doesn't suit" and "horrible thing".

She knows what a man wants. "As long as they have their dinner on the table and can go to bed and have a good bonk they are very happy," she says.

By day four, the men having complete control over their partner's life was taking its toll. Unblocking lavatories was bad enough, but not as bad as having their homes inspected for tidiness and cleanliness by Patsy from the Mothers Union.

Ali was reduced to tears after Patsy commented on her "compact bathroom". She later took to drink as the couples enjoyed a night out together. Husband Stef broke the rules and made her a bacon sandwich when they returned home.

"Am I drunk?," drawled Ali, slumped on the floor.

"No, you're paralytic," Stef replied.

They never had this trouble with the Stepford wives.

Lord Of The Flies,

York Theatre Royal

THIS is my first acquaintance with Pilot Theatre Company's stage version of William Golding's novel. Somehow I missed the 392 performances staged on tour between 1998 and 2002.

This re-cast revival - which tours until March next year - shows York-based Pilot at its very best as schoolboy survivors castaway on a desert island following a plane crash turn the beach into a war zone.

They turn into little savages progressing from childish games to hunting pigs and, ultimately, each other.

Director Marcus Romer pulls together design, lighting, costume and music into a gripping portrayal of an adolescent society breaking down - ironically as they were being sent away to escape an impending world war.

The weakest, like short-sighted Piggy, are picked on as rules are ignored and the boys start behaving badly in the absence of adults. The hunting and killing of a pig proves a prelude to far darker deeds.

The staging, as the blood-smeared cast clamber over the remains of the aircraft, isn't afraid to insert quieter moments among all the rabble-rousing and violence. Andrew Falvey has more than his fair share as thoughtful Ralph, who finds himself at odds with Alan Park's out-of-control hunter Jack.

* Until Saturday at York Theatre Royal (tickets 01904 623568). Also West Yorkshire Playhouse, Leeds, from November 30-December 4 (0113 213 7700) and Durham Gala Theatre from February 15-19 (0191 3324041).

Steve Pratt