"Oh my God, she's taken her top off now," said my wife, who hadn't stumbled across Nip/Tuck by mistake but was actually watching Victoria Wood - Moonwalking (ITV1, Wednesday).
At this point (am I allowed to say that?) apologies have to made about the one and only picture supplied by ITV which is clearly distorted and will probably please the comedienne by making her seem a lot slimmer.
For those who didn't glimpse VW's efforts, she joined 15,000 women - plus several oddball males in drag - raising around £5m for Breast Cancer Research by briskly walking 26 miles, without wearing a vest.
TV addicts will have particularly enjoyed her way of passing the time by humming theme tunes for companions, who are allowed one guess.
"You wouldn't catch me marching through London streets at midnight in my undies. My boobs are too big for a start," added my wife. Mind you, she once said "If I ever go hiking you can take me out and shoot me" and promptly completed two charity walks. She did keep her clothes on even when we had a few difficulties crossing flooded fields near Reeth. "You never told me about the white water rafting," she harangued the anxious organiser. For those who don't mind braving the elements, and a few late-night drunks, I can reveal that the next Moonwalk is on June 18 (details from www.walkthewalk.org).
The biggest challenge this week has been trying to catch up with some of the week's programmes recorded on a dodgy tape which decided it didn't like Jennie Bond's Royals (five, Wednesday). Listening to the Squidgygate tape, involving the Princess of Wales, on a recording minus the sound every few seconds only needed Norman Collier's microphone sketch to make our evening complete.
"Why are you watching this? You don't even like the Royal family. All we're seeing is a bunch of overblown royal reporters cackling on while having a posh meal," complained Mrs Wonderbra. What actually fascinated me was the way the British public defended Charles and Diana's behaviour and blamed most of their problems on the media - or the Creme de la Scum as they dubbed themselves.
The first programme focused on 1992 and Annus Horribilis as three House of Windsor marriages ran into trouble and Sarah Ferguson came down to breakfast at Balmoral and found eight members of the Royal family rattling a copy of the Daily Mirror with "those" pictures of her on the front page. The problem with using Jennie Bond as our host is that she's probably just about as batty as her subjects and was never really allowed to tell us much as the BBC's royal correspondent, apart from responding to the tabloid tales. But it's certainly a little more lively than Princess Anne waving to the crowds outside Buckingham Palace during a 1952 birthday party, which was about the sum total of coverage in those days.
I also can't let 'Old Big 'Ead' - A Tribute To Brian Clough (BBC1, Wednesday) slip away unnoticed. Yes, I know it's football and we have far too much football on TV, but he was a character we won't see again... he might even have fancied a little Moonwalking.
Published: 16/10/2004
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