On TV

This Morning (ITV1)

IS that okay?," asked the doctor as he put a nozzle in a woman's ear and pumped in water. It looked like she was being tortured.

The truth was that she was a patient undergoing a balance test designed to make her feel dizzy. City Hospital presenter, Roger Black, looked a bit queasy himself, made his excuses and left.

I deserted the programme too for the Best Daytime Show (as awarded in this week's National Television Awards) - This Morning. Fern Britton wasn't joking when she announced "a very, very varied show" as it moved from an interview with pop band Busted to the mother of a teenager son who killed the man who raped her.

I'd already missed the best bit during a live promotion for the show 45 minutes earlier, when Fern and stand-in presenter Piers Morgan were having a private conversation that was broadcast by mistake. Later, they had to apologise for what they said. Or more precisely, what Morgan said - something about this being a good time for a terrorist attack in the US, with the presidential elections coming up.

Clearly, this had caused alarm because Fern had to tell viewers: "Don't panic". Morgan had to state he had no inside information about a possible attack. "Nobody tells me anything," he said.

They might well tell him he's sacked if he doesn't keep his mouth shut.

He kept reminding us of his former glories during the chat with Busted, telling us he was the author of a book on Take That (I'm not sure I'd boast about that) and used to be editor of a national newspaper.

There was a mass of young fans waiting outside the studio for Busted. They were a lot noisier than the band when the show played a clip from their video without any sound. This morning was obviously a day for technical mishaps.

Fern demanded full details of Busted's visit to the Playboy mansion during a recent trip to the US. "Did you see Hugh Hefner's inner sanctum," she said saucily.

Then again, she did tell the trio that "you have given the girls upstairs so much pleasure". Thankfully, she didn't ask for a full description of that.

Then it was on to anti-social behaviour orders. I felt like ringing in and asking for one to be placed on Morgan.

He told Home Office Minister Hazel Blears: "I believe you are making some inroads into crime". I'm sure Tony Blair will be pleased to hear that.

There was also a competition to win a home entertainment centre, so you could watch DVDs instead of daytime television. The question was: "What do you call a lazy person who spends a lot of time watching television?"

Is it, viewers were asked, a couch tomato, a couch potato or a couch carrot?

The answer is none of those. A lazy person who watches a lot of television is, of course, called a TV critic.

Guys And Dolls, Darlington Operatic Society, Darlington Civic Theatre

A TALE of love and gambling in New York City: Nathan Detroit and Adelaide Adams have been engaged for years but keep having to postpone their nuptials due to Nathan's gambling, and Sarah Brown, a prim and proper missionary worker falls in love with a sinner in the form of Sky Masterson.

The set of this show is wonderfully designed and the costumes are beautiful. Arthur Ellis, as Nicely-Nicely Johnson, is one of the highlights, with a beautiful voice and a wonderfully expressive face. He does a great double act with Michael Walker, as Benny Southstreet, singing Guys and Dolls. There were one or two moments where the sound wasn't very good and the dialogue was difficult to hear, but it had been ironed out by act two and was probably just an opening night hitch.

Nathan Detroit is played wonderfully as the loveable rogue, and Ken Horsley's vocals were impressive. Society Max, played by Robert Rowell, and the other gangsters make a great chorus and Katie-Lee Clemmet and the rest of the girls in the ensemble shine as the Hot Box Girls. Avril Blain, as Adelaide Adams, sings Adelaide's Lament very well and Samantha Currie, as Sarah Brown, looks the part as the sensible missionary worker. Their vocals were tuneful but a little weak in the first act, but by act two they were much more powerful. Russell Storey, as Sky Masterson, sang Luck Be A Lady very well and was backed by some great dancing. This is a very well-rehearsed and well-performed production.

l Runs until November 6. Box office (01325) 486555

Hilary Bevan

Annie, Forum Theatre, Billingham

WITH her trademark red dress and shock of curly hair, the story of little orphan Annie is sure to tug at the heartstrings, and this musical stage adaptation does not disappoint.

The tough, yet sugary sweet orphans from Miss Hannigan's horrible New York orphanage sing their hearts out in this classic tale of rags to riches.

Destitute, hungry and unloved, their fortunes are suddenly turned around when billionaire Oliver Warbucks decides to share his home with one of them for Christmas and falls for the cute and cheeky charms of little Annie.

Sue Pollard is superb as the mean old drunk and hater of little girls, Miss Hannigan, and there are plenty of comic moments as she makes desperate passes at any man who comes her way. The chemistry is provided by Oliver Warbucks (James Smillie) and his assistant Grace Farrell (Louise English) - as the billionaire prepares to marry and finally become "Daddy" Warbucks.

And the role of Annie, which alternates with 11-year-old Emma Hopkins, was played in this show by 12-year-old Stacey Hunt in a fun, energetic and heartwarming performance.

Some great comedy moments were provided by the butler, Drake, (Michael Morgan), who the children in the audience loved, as well as Sandy the dog - who, while he had impeccable timing, adamantly refused show the audience anything but his bottom!

An entertaining family show with some new tunes as well as plenty of well known hits from the film.

l Runs until Saturday. Box office (01642) 552663

Michelle Hedger