Buying Christmas presents for my horses has always resounded like a death knell for me. Something always seems to happen to them shortly afterwards.

One got a smart new saddle, only to go lame almost the next week. Another had a top-of-the-range night rug; he got cast and needed physio to sort his back out. One beautiful, athletic, supposedly bold eventer received a matching travelling set - only to find that on his first outing cross country jumping on his own was not to his taste. So down the road he went.

I then resorted to smaller presents: a brass name plate for the headcollar. This seemed a smart thing to do, but several years later the plate had been changed almost as many times as the years passed so I decided to save my headcollar from further abuse and myself a deal of hassle by printing my name instead of the horses' on the plaque.

My vet, a man of quick wit and dry humour, noticed this, asking one day "How long have you had this horse?" I replied, "five years," to which he raised a sceptical eyebrow. Well there is always one who belies the case.

That marked the end of my horses' Christmas presents except for the odd turnip or swede.

Other people, however, have no qualms about digging deep in their pockets for their beloved quadruped. Women in particular nearly always ask for something for their horse.

The equestrian market, abundant throughout the year with every kind of gadget, leather product, synthetic product horse preventative and curative known to man, swells at holiday time to incorporate inexpensive stocking fillers designed to lure even more money from the horse-mad public. Ranging from the practical to downright ridiculous it seems the only criteria is to depict a horse or have one on it. There are socks with cute messages, mugs with horses' heads, jigsaws depicting mares and foals, key rings dangling trembling horses, books about horses, videos about horses, the list is endless.

Retailers tell me that dressing gowns and pyjamas with horses on are always popular. And an added treat this year is slippers that neigh. For the New Year fancy dress party how about a horse mask - a furry face with nose, muzzle, ears and a forelock complete with headcollar. The ultimate however, must be the miniature horses that sit down and sing.

Shopping for equestrian goods can become a rather convoluted game of cunning especially when children are involved. Primed with a long list of relatives parents go shopping quite often accompanied by the child for whom they are buying. Aided by the shop assistant clever diversion tactics are called for at the crucial moment before they can leave with as many as twenty-odd gifts. Shop keepers reckon the children know exactly what's going on but to keep the parents happy they stay quiet.

One of the greatest pleasures of Christmas is seeing the children's faces when they discover their dream present. Johanna Vardons' face must have been a picture when she found a little pony in her kitchen on Christmas morning. This pony, which had been found at a fair for £25, went on to be the foundation mare for Miss Vardons' Meretown Stud, responsible for seven generations including some of Olympic standard.

These days fashion is all important when kitting out the horse and rider. One has to be in the right colour. This year it's pink and purple or brown and beige. I saw a rather nifty child's showing set in brown and beige with matching waistcoat, bow tie, brow band and rosettes. For the more flamboyant there are lilac and purple breeches or puce and lilac fleece bandages.

To be absolutely 'in' this year coloured wellies are the thing. There is a choice of blue, pink or yellow with or without a stripe. One supplier is even donating to charity for each pair sold, each colour denoting a different charity.

To stay ahead of a vastly competitive market an equestrian retailer has to carry a diverse stock. His shop will exhibit not only a bewildering display of saddlery and associated items but also a tempting choice of riding wear and country clothing.

Fashion hit the riding scene some fifteen years ago when the continental dressage riders appeared in the warm up arena at Goodwood dressage in their matching three piece outfits. Gone are the days of baggy twill breeches with muddy coloured anorak. It is now almost obligatory to have coloured breeches and matching jacket with a fleece in a complementary colour and a rain repellent over-jacket that is probably made of 'breathable' material.

It is now all too easy to come out of the shop with a chic little number perfect for the next important country Occasion. Illogically and especially during the Christmas shopping period, it is often not the ladies who buy them. It is the men who are dispatched by their partners to the tack shop, who buy for the women, having been sent for the horse. They fall straight into the clutches of the waiting shop assistant, much as my dog descends on her dinner.

The required horses' gift securely ordered so vastly relieved of the decision of What to Get, they become vulnerable to suggestions for the more personal gift. If their attention is drawn to "a particularly nice outfit that would just suit your wife" they will succumb.

A retailer worth his salt will see the opportunity and the customer finds he's leaving the shop with both presents under his arm.

Temptation comes in all sorts of guises. In my local shop there is a range of shooting clothing that would not be out of place at any rural sports activity. My eye was taken by a rather natty cartridge bag that the ladies were buying to use as handbags. A Jersey retailer reported on a book called 'Pictured Memories on Hunting from a Local Channel Islander'. It is a hunting journal from 1928 to 1939 with illustrations from Marguerita and Chamberlaynes' Hunting Journal.

Fashion from other countries creeps in too. European fashion, by and large is more sophisticated than ours. An Italian firm makes a range of ladies wrist watches that I would cheerfully die for. American fashion might be a little over the top for us in the UK if the gift that Yorkshire Riding Centres' chief instructor, Jane Bartle-Wilson received last year is anything to go by. Manufactured in the USA of the highest quality materials her horse can now be resplendent in matching leopard skin polo bandages, overreach boots and hat cover.

"I could do the breeches and saddle pad," she told me. "Perhaps I'll get them this year!"

She was joking - wasn't she?

Horses don't care too much about Christmas. I might give mine a carrot on Christmas Day. I wonder what Tony Blair would like. Perhaps one of the hounds that we are always being told can be so easily re-homed, or maybe a couple - they would enjoy life at Chequers.

Published: 29/10/2004