FIRST love for the older generation tends to come in the shape of a 1960s or 1970s singer, so we can tell most of them apart.

Well, all of us apart from Paul O'Grady it appears. Only he could chose his new primetime Paul O'Grady Show (ITV1, Tuesday) to call David Cassidy "Donny" by mistake.

Not only were the apologies endless, but the hapless host then managed to sit poor Mr Cassidy next to a chicken impersonator not dissimilar to the great Percy Edwards.

As a former member of the Partridge Family, it wasn't surprising to see the pop idol fly to the farthest corner of the set until Percy MkII had left. By this time, O'Grady was convinced he'd been set up by Ant & Dec and was even promising David Cassidy that he'd introduce him to Lily Savage.

I certainly can't see these exploits avoiding the beady eye of Denis Norden and It'll Be Alright On The Night 457.

"How's Paul O'Grady doing in comparison to Richard and Judy on Channel 4," asked my wife, who is something of an authority on the snappish-witted comic's show.

She knew, for example, that he always arrives with dog Buster at the start and pointed out that an unseen hand whisks the poor pooch away before his owner's big interviews.

Perhaps the shepherd's crook should have dragged out O'Grady on Tuesday and left Buster in charge of the dialogue. On the question of audience ratings, I have to confess that since BARB (the Broadcasters' Audience Research Board) started charging a large fee for their services this newspaper can only reflect figures that come to us through national news sources and website allegations.

O'Grady appears to be around half-a-million viewers ahead with 2.5m tuning in currently. That led to C4's Richard and Judy pinching both Joan Collins and Madonna from the ITV1 host in recent weeks. He responded by calling them "snivelling, grovelling and pathetic".

Spat rather than chat seems to be dominating daytime TV these days... as long as you know your Donnys from your Davids - North-East fans will be able to do just that when Cassidy and The Osmonds play Newcastle's Arena next year.

Other hosts with foot in mouth problems this week included the patronising Anna Raeburn in Too Close For Comfort (BBC1, Thursday) who gently informed a couple they had "too much home, but not enough house".

It must have sounded nice at the script-writing stage and was supposed to indicate that the fifty-something Coventry parents couldn't cope with two fully-grown children and a granddaughter in a tiny two-bed terrace. "What the hell is she on about and why does she talk to everyone as if they are simple," said my wife, who I suspect was suffering from a little late remorse over laughing at the plight of her teen idol David Cassidy.

Not that yours truly escaped scot-free, after I was silly enough to remark that Raeburn and colleague John Weir seem to solve most over-crowded homes by building a brick shed in the garden.

"That's exactly what's going to happen to you when you retire," she said.

Published: 20/11/2004