FOR 13 years I have been patiently recording our family history on video. First words, first steps, first tricycle, they have all been captured on tape.
Then, last Christmas, the camcorder stopped working. But buying a new one was much too complicated - tape, mini-DV, DVD, digital or the Sky + hard disk option? I have been in a state of indecision, and without a camera, ever since.
Now, as our video tapes get fuzzier and one or two have been chewed up, some stores have pronounced them obsolete and stopped selling them.
In the meantime, our two-year-old has done the steps, words and tricycle all by himself, without the camera rolling. Instead of filming it, I have committed it all to memory - one technology that Sony and Panasonic can't wipe out. And funnily enough, I have enjoyed seeing and hearing all those precious moments so much more when I'm not behind a camera lens. Why make life more complicated?
SURPRISE, surprise. A scientific survey reveals men can't cope with pain as well as women and need stronger drugs for longer for the same ailments. That might explain why, when my husband was laid up in bed with pneumonia, the initial response of every female I told was unbridled laughter. Of course, they assumed that, being male, what he called "pneumonia" was actually just a little snivel. Most men wanted to know the symptoms and if it was catching because they thought they might be coming down with it too. Either way, he didn't get much sympathy.
DID anyone else notice that as the intrepid actor known as "Huggy Bear" struggled to create a fire by rubbing two sticks together over some dried bracken in ITV's I'm A Celebrity, the model Sophie Anderton was standing behind him casually smoking a cigarette? Team leader Janet Street-Porter was delighted when Huggy sparked a flame. "I'm so proud of him," she gushed. Obviously, neither she nor Huggy thought of asking to borrow Sophie's lighter. Could it be that things are not what they seem in the jungle camp?
AS I write this, I am wearing the oddest looking pair of chunky, high trainers with soles the shape of bananas. Called Masai Barefoot Technology, they are the latest fitness aid, designed to make you walk like a Masai warrior going barefoot over stony ground, toning your legs, buttocks and stomach as you go. Normally this is the sort of product I would scoff at. Especially since they cost a whopping £129 a pair. But after reading rave reviews of the shoes in the Press, the idea of fitting in a workout while getting the groceries or doing Christmas shopping became irresistible. It's saving time and money (no need to go to the gym), I reasoned. My husband isn't convinced. In the meantime, if you see someone with incredibly toned buttocks walking in the manner of a Masai warrior round Sainbury's, it could just be me.
I COULDN'T make my mind up about ponchos. They can, occasionally, look really good, but they make too many women look, prematurely, like little old ladies. Either that or like they're dressing up in their daughter's clothes. Then Bush and Putin were photographed together in matching ponchos this week. That settled it. Ponchos are even more ridiculous than I thought.
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