YOU can present Cannon and Ball with a man-dismembering crocodile, rampaging red Indians, cut-throat pirates and over-loud lost boys and the polished duo can still manage a full performance and encores. There is an abrasiveness about the pair's humour which must make younger ones wonder if these two "baddies" really do have a soft centre. But give Bobby the name Smee and make Tommy "Yoo" and link them up with a pirate crew of Him, Watt and Who and you've got enough comic material to fill the first half of any panto.

As it is, JM Barrie's wonderful tale becomes commercially chewed to accommodate Messrs Cannon and Ball and economics allow just Peter (Lee Brennan) and Wendy (Claire Huckle) to actually fly. Brennan stuggles a little with the role normally associated with a leading lady but that could be because Steve Arnott in the twin role of Mr Darling and Captain Hook is so devilishly good. Completely unfazed by the boo brigade, the North-East entertainer insulted Darlington from every angle - "it keeps the wind off Durham" - and dismissed the town's football team as "a poor man's Hartlepool". With no sweet-throwing, children invited from the audience on stage or traditional slapstick, panto is becoming so PC that it's a surprise that cast members enter through the auditorium. Heaven knows what would happen if a flapping costume or waved pirate flag ruffled someone's hair.

Local limelight falls on Adrian Coates and Nathan Durkin, who play Michael and John, plus the young members of Spennymoor's Joanne Banks Dancers. Cannon and Ball lined up with the youngsters for a nicely-sung number about God - and that's as unusual as a Haven holiday prize per performance.

* Runs until January 23. Box Office: (01325) 486555.

Published: 16/12/2004