If the cap fits, wear it. Recent columns have been remembering sportsmen who made just one appearance for their country.

Was there ever so brief a one-cap wonder, asks Martin Birtle in Billingham, as Seaham Harbour lad Brian Marwood - England's 77th minute substitute in a 1989 football international against Saudi Arabia but never again required to answer the call.

Principally with Arsenal and Sheffield Wednesday, Marwood will be 44 in January and has become what they call a media pundit. "He seemed quite bitter about it in his autobiography but I expect there've been all sorts of knock-kneed nondescripts played for less than that under Sven," says Martin.

The short playing record, however, has stood since 1929. John Briggs in Darlington points out that West Ham United forward Jim Barrett's debut for England against Northern Ireland lasted just four minutes before he was carried off. Never again selected, he carried on regardless.

Recalling former Sunderland opening batsman and Vaux Brewery executive Norman Mitchell-Innes - said to be the most wondrous of all the one caps - Friday's column also noted that he was the last double-barrelled player to represent England at cricket.

Surprisingly, there'd only been three. The invitation to name a side of hyphenated English first- class cricketers has been taken up, however, by Ian McDougall in Bishop Auckland.

"I wouldn't fancy their chances against any other county side," he insists, though Colin Ingleby-Mackenzie, Hampshire's championship winning skipper in 1961, would prove an astute leader. R C Robertson-Glasgow, with Somerset in the 1920s, would certainly write eloquently about it.

The others - "a difficult lot to handle, since they're almost all from the landed gentry or the universities" - are: H M Garland-Wells, Surrey's captain in 1939, H K Hesketh-Pritchard, captained MCC in 1907, P E Murray-Willis and A W Childs-Clarke, both post-war Northamptonshire captains, R I Boyd-Moss (Cambridge University and Northants), S H Hill-Wood, Derbyshire's captain from 1899-1901, R C Rought-Rought who took a hat-trick from Cambridge University in 1932 and W Murray-Wood, who captained Kent in the 1950s.

All this began with Sam Bartram, Charlton Athletic's legendary goalkeeper who didn't win a cap at all but was at least, we said, Athletic's oldest player.

Crook Town historian Michael Manuel begs leave to doubt it: what, he asks, about big John Oakes?

Born in September 1905, Oakes went from Chilton Colliery to Nottingham Forest in 1928 but after just two first team games returned to the North-East, where spells at Crook and Spennymoor were interrupted by another unsuccessful Football League sojourn, with Southend.

In 1935 he joined Aldershot, transferred two years later to first division Charlton, won an England B cap in 1939 and was Charlton's centre half in the 1946 Cup final, aged 40 years and eight months and stayed until almost 42.

"The oldest man ever to appear in an FA Cup final," says Michael, and may well be right. Stan Matthews, 1953, was a bit bairn of 38.

Oakes played for Plymouth Argyle when he was 44, coached in Sweden, the USA and Australia and died in Perth, Western Australia, in 1992.

King of the Ground Hoppers John Dawson is back, Welsh harping, from a Christmas odyssey to Aberystwyth.

Spotting that they'd a Friday night fixture, the retired Hartlepool postman checked that it would definitely go ahead - "No problem, boyo," they said - booked a seaside hotel and began an eight and a half hour train journey, changing at Thornaby, Darlington, Manchester, Crewe and Shrewsbury.

When finally he got there, however, a blackboard outside the ground announced that the match was off. Aberystwyth blamed an unseasonally high tide; John suspected that the referee might have some late night Christmas shopping.

One of the few people still to own a black and white television, he found cold comfort back at the hotel, however. "I watched Frost in colour," he says.

Impatiently awaiting last Friday's UEFA Cup draw, Newcastle United fan Gavin Ledwith worked out the seven possible venues and checked cheap flights so that he'd be ready for action the moment the pairings were made.

Thus armed, Gavin - from West Rainton, near Durham - tried to log on to UEFA.com and was briefly startled to discover East African opposition.

Then all became clear. More haste less speed, he'd found the website of the Ugandan Flower Exporting Association instead.

The closest it may ever have come to an exclusive, the Christmas issue of the Albany Northern League magazine tells the sad story of Peter Kilpatrick, a man forever looking over his shoulder.

Pete, a lifelong North Shields fan, had spent several years in hiding on a witness protection scheme after being shot and stabbed during gangland violence on north Tyneside.

Though in Cumbria, Pete continued to watch some Robins' away games and had been spotted at home matches. "He always seemed a bit nervous," says Shields chairman Alan Matthews.

"I had a great deal of respect for his bravery for what he stood up for. He was very nice man."

Peter, who was 50, collapsed and died during a pub quiz in Carlisle. He was cremated in his North Shields shirt, his ashes scattered on the centre circle.

A couple of years ago we were discussing the steam engines named after football clubs, among them Darlington - built in 1936 in the town from which it took its name but marooned for much of its working life in East Anglia.

The nameplate was long at Feethams, free transferred to the new stadium but sold ("You'll have to speak to the administrators," says the club) during the period of administration.

Colin Jones in Spennymoor now sends a handsome new print of dear old Darlington, number four in a limited edition of 100. "Call it a Christmas present," he says, magnanimously.

Thanks also for all the other greetings - Mervyn Hardy sends a splendid card of cricket at a snowy San Moritz - and to the very many good and greatly appreciated souls who've helped sturdily to sustain the column into its 20th year.

A last minute present, perhaps, more details of the prints on www.locos-in-profile.co.uk - 01634 362735.

And finally...

The principal difference between former Sunderland footballers Bobby Gurney, Nick Pickering, Eric Gates and Gavin McCann (Backtrack, December 17) is that Gates won two England caps. The others only won one apiece.

Fred Alderton in Peterlee today seeks the identity of the current English international whose first names are Sulzeer Jeremiah.

The answer, if we can fit it in, when the Backtrack annual review appears on Friday/

Published: 21/12/2004