I HADN'T allowed for rushing a sick child to hospital on my Christmas "To Do" list. The children's ward is hardly the ideal place to be spending the night shortly before the big day.

At this stage, according to the women's magazines' helpful countdown lists, I should be up to my eyeballs in spending, wrapping, writing, posting, rushing and panicking - not to mention hand-making decorations, icing my home-made cake and dropping a dress size while I'm at it.

Yet, plucked from this tinsel-clad madness and thrust onto a ward with other parents and poorly children, I was instantly, inevitably, surrounded by poignant reminders of what really matters this festive season.

Thankfully, our nine-year-old, who suffered a severe asthma attack, is back home with us again. But I will be haunted by memories of him hardly able to walk and struggling to breathe before they got him hooked up to nebulisers, oxygen masks and pumped full of steroids.

At least he knew where his priorities lay. He had just one question as I unpacked all his bits and pieces after quickly nipping home to get an overnight bag. Whipping off his oxygen mask, he stared at me with pathetic, bloodshot eyes: "Didn't you remember my Advent calendar? I have to have my chocolate in the morning."

I had to confess I had forgotten. "Oh Muuuum" he berated me. "It is Christmas you know." Funny how that had slipped my mind...

IN the bed next to us, a young girl's mother was adamant her daughter's father shouldn't come to visit with his second wife. So the daughter, aged eleven, called him and asked him to come on his own. He said he and his wife would come together or not at all. There were further distressing phone calls and, although she was in hospital for two nights, he never did come.

It struck me that similar family dramas were being played out up and down the country, especially with Christmas approaching, as so many struggle to accommodate the complex web of split families. I have enough close friends and relatives desperately trying to glue together fractured family fragments to know how difficult it can be. But just looking at that sad little girl waiting for a father who never came was a distressing reminder of all the child casualties in the complex messes adults have created.

I HAVE been caught out many times with electronic goods that supposedly work with "most" TV sets or computers, only to discover when I get home that they don't with mine. So, buying a set of Phillips headphones last week, I examined the box to check they would be suitable for my equipment. But there was no information, apart from the words written in large, bold type: "Guaranteed to fit all ears."

I DON'T know why people complain about round robin letters in Christmas cards. Critics say photocopied summaries of family news are impersonal and smug. But I love finding out what others have been up to. And I can understand why those who live far from friends or family copy the same letter to everyone rather than write lots by hand. So what if they leave out the fact little Jack has been caught stealing and granny is now incontinent? And why shouldn't parents glow with pride over Jessica's role as the back end of a donkey in the school nativity? Next year, I may even get round to sending one myself. In the meantime, have a very happy Christmas...