"IT isn't Christmas without children about the place," people often say. "It's just not the same. Children make Christmas."

I think it's rather a sad way to look at things. Of course, I know what they mean. After all, if Christmas is about anything (apart from eating and drinking and having fun) it's about a baby. And children enjoy Christmas with an innocence very far removed from the tensions and stresses so many adults suffer. Without doubt, they can bring an extra special kind of joy to the festival.

And what grandmother wouldn't wish to watch her grandson in his first starring role in a nativity play? What grandmother wouldn't want to see his face light up as he gazes at the decorated Christmas tree or catches sight of the lights strung up in the streets or in house windows? What grandmother wouldn't want to hug him as she wishes him "Happy Christmas", or watch him open his stocking on Christmas morning, his excitement growing at every new toy? And don't we all wish we could have all our loved ones about us at Christmas time?

We've spent two Christmas days in Jonah's company, the first two of his life. But it's only this year, aged just three, that he's really begun to understand what Christmas is about. It's only this year he's started to get excited about Christmas well before the day. And this year it was the turn of his other grandparents to be with him on Christmas Day.

So this time we had to be content with emailed photographs of the nativity play. We had to make do with a very brief phone conversation on Christmas morning - "I'm eating a chocolate pig, Nana!". We know it's more than many grandparents have, especially those who live on the other side of the world from their grandchildren. I once met a grandmother who hadn't seen her grandchildren for six years, so I know how lucky we are to see as much as we do of Jonah.

Of course, we were a bit wistful about it - that's only natural. And certainly Christmas Day wasn't the same as it would have been with Jonah around. It was quieter, certainly, even peaceful. But less happy?

Not a bit of it. We spent the day in the company of our daughter and son-in-law.

They're young professional people with busy working lives. Our daughter's a successful career woman in her 30s. But as soon as the first Christmas decoration goes up in the shops (even if it's only September) she's as excited as any child. She loves Christmas. She loves lights and tinsel and carols and all the food and being together with the family and choosing and wrapping presents and all the planning and dreaming. And she enjoys every moment of the day itself.

With her around we all saw Christmas with the freshness and excitement of a child, but with time to laugh and talk and relax together too. There was even a little sprinkling of snow to put the icing on the cake, as it were. We drank champagne and ate good food, and it was nice not to be woken up before it got light.

But it wasn't all sophisticated adult pleasures. I've said something before about how being a grandparent makes you start to look at things with a child's eyes. Maybe that was what made me buy the novelty toy pig. It was dressed as Elvis and, once switched on, shook and quivered all over as it belted out a slightly off-key version of Hound Dog. Good taste? No, emphatically not! But we didn't stop laughing for a long time.

And then, a few days later, our first two guests left and Jonah and his parents arrived. There were more presents, and more big meals. There was a lot of noise. In no time, there were toy cars and bits of Lego all over the floor. We had hardly a moment to ourselves, and not much opportunity for any kind of adult conversation. Everything revolved around Jonah, as it tends to do when there's a small child in the house. But it was great fun, of course, and we wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

It's true that Christmas isn't quite the same without children. But different doesn't necessarily mean worse. In fact, when I think about it, we were especially lucky, because our celebrations were nicely spread out. We had the best of both worlds and happy memories to carry forward into the new year from all our visitors.