OF all the recent reality shows, allowing three untrained celebrities to attempt to teach children the National Curriculum is probably the silliest.

So You Think You Can Teach (five, Sunday) has thrown old misery gob Janet Street-Porter, sweaty ex-EastEnder Shaun Williamson and bemused It girl Tamara Beckwith into becoming instant educators for a week.

Wisely, the programme-makers chose Cambridge's Abbey Meadows Primary School where the age range is 5-11 because secondary school pupils might have required all the awesome powers demonstrated by Julie Walters in Ahead Of The Class (ITV1, also shown on Sunday).

"I think Shaun Williamson has lost some weight and he's definitely developed a nervous twitch," said my wife, who was a deft hand around the infant and junior school classroom when required.

It could have been that the children asked him if he was going to return to EastEnders as Barry - but, being killed by Janine and then cremated is not, necessarily, the end of the line when it comes to a soap character.

The real reason is that Mr Williamson is taking it all too seriously and failing spectacularly.

The class's regular teacher Miss Silk has been only too quick to point out the stumbling actor's faults. "God, you can tell she's fresh out of training school, meow," said my home education expert.

Childless Ms Street Porter is faring better thanks to being given the youngest class while good old Ms Beckwith got someone else to plan her maths lesson and has given her class PE and swimming every afternoon.

Tomorrow night the trio are having their work marked by head teacher Cliff Knight... expect to find "see me" written in their homework books.

Early evening TV saw the conclusion of Cathedral (BBC2, Monday) with the remarkable story of York Minster.

The fire of 1984 formed a small part of the tale, but it was the burning down of a large part of the building in 1829 by arsonist Jonathan Martin which proved fascinating.

The resulting damage allowed architect John Browne (played by William Gaunt) to discover another church on which the Minster had been built.

"Look, do they hang this chap or not?" said my wife as the programme dallied over the fate of Martin for an hour. He was, in fact, declared mad and spent his remaining years in Bedlam, now known these days as the Big Brother House.

You Are What You Eat (C4, Wednesday) is proving far harder to shake off, particularly now nutritionist presenter Gillian McKeith recommends that five minutes bouncing on a trampette (a small circular trampoline) is as good as jogging for 15. "Do you think we should buy one?" said my weight-battling wife, giving me visions of another fruitless hunt around stores for one more "must-have" accessory.

Best programme of the week had to be How To Sleep Better (BBC1, Wednesday). I managed to sit through an hour of a taped version, where the snoring problems of Janet Welby from "near Middlesbrough" proved the most interesting while the Epworth quiz questions on sleep were totally confusing.

With half-an-hour still to watch, I went to bed and slept soundly for the first time in weeks... so more shows like this Lord Winston please.

Published: 05/02/2005