I'm no prude but I rolled my eyes like a disapproving aunt when I heard about the latest ploy to encourage more young people to visit the seaside.
Romantic couples in Eastbourne can now hire double deckchairs so they can get fruity with a great sea view.
The 93cm appropriately named Wide Boy, which is double the width of a normal deckchair, is designed for amorous couples for whom ''two chairs are just too far apart''.
I always thought I was a very romantic person. I love hearts and flowers, kisses and cuddles and a walk along the beach sounds nice. But there is nothing romantic about getting passionate in full view of tiny tots, OAPs and a team of donkeys.
Can't people control themselves? Do they really need to be provided with a special seat so they can paw over each other all day long? What's wrong with sitting side by side and holding hands?
I know people have been having sex on beaches and in the sea since time began - it's an uncomfortable, rushed and pretty cold experience in the UK (so I'm told) so the nice people in Eastbourne are trying to make it easier.
And at £2 a day, lovebirds also make a saving of 90p on the price of two single chairs.
''We brought them in to bring a bit more romance to Eastbourne,'' a borough council spokeswoman said.
''We're trying to change our image... we're trying to target the 35-plus age group rather than the 55-plus age group.
''We do have the image of a retirement resort, and that's unfair, so we're doing this to try and challenge some outdated perceptions.'
So is there going to be an age limit on those hiring the chairs - will the under-16s be banned while the over-50s encouraged to chose a more conventional seat?
What about overweight sunseekers who simply want to use one chair for their ample frame?
If the council wants romance can I suggest it invests in some red roses, free champagne and music for the sea front.
Encouraging outdoor romance is bound to end up as less Barbara Cartland and more Jackie Collins.
I also object to the notion that you can only interest the under-50s in something if you wrap it up in sex.
OK it's an easy way to grab our attention but what about appealing to our other interests - if Eastbourne has nothing to offer us but a quickie then shouldn't the council be addressing its lack of facilities?
What about all the young families out there who go to the seaside to play with buckets and spades?
Burying daddy in the sand would certainly be spoilt if the little ones had to work round a couple getting frisky in a double deckchair.
The whole policy seems very short-sighted - what about the long term consequences of all those canoodling couples?
I just hope the council are planning to hand out free condoms with their Wide Boys otherwise we will soon have a whole generation of little Eastbournes, Piers and Decs being born and named in honour of the day their parents went to the seaside.
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