There's only thing worse than a married woman having an affair. And that's a jealous married woman having an affair.

Enter Silly Sally Webster, who's been polishing the top of the desk in her office with bonking boss Ian Davenport in Coronation Street (ITV1). She's going on holiday but sports a face like a wet weekend in Margate as she's just seen the temp who's going to fill in for her while she's away.

Sally's worried that blonde Lisa Ditchfield will also be filling in for her with Ian, a man who takes the business of staff relations very seriously indeed.

Sally gets all jealous because she knows only too well about Ian's wandering eye (a medical condition developed by randy married men) and even more wandering hands. Can she trust him to keep his feet on the floor and his hands to himself (which isn't easy when you're answering the phone at the same time)?

It'll end in tears, you can be sure of that. Just as you can be certain that Angela (Lady Macbeth) Harris will be arrested for the murder of husband terrible Tommy. She's certainly guilty of being unable to say the letter T, but Soapland police are unlikely to make the murder charge stick.

She thought she was doing well by sending herself a threatening letter, along the lines of "If you don't stop you door-er Kay-ee snivelling, we'll send round the heavy mob".

In a shock move, Tracy Barlow bonds with her dying dad Ray Langton during a trip to Southport. This is preferable to joining Weatherfield's elderly citizens - Norris, Rita and Emily - playing crazy golf.

Ken Barlow tells Deirdre it's time for them to marry, although under Soapland's constitution she won't be able to call herself Queen Deirdre, just plain Dreary Deirdre.

Tissues at the ready as Sonia gets all tearful in EastEnders (BBC1) over the daughter she gave away. Chloe, now called Rebecca, has been orphaned after her adoptive parents were killed in a car crash. Sonia, calling herself Pamela, has been visiting Chloe/Rebecca on the pretext of being a friend of her adoptive mother Sue, who as far as I know didn't go around calling herself anything else.

Martin the tallest man in soap - the father of Chloe who eventually married Sonia/Pamela after running over her fiance Jamie - doesn't like the child getting all the attention and tells Sonia/Pamela to put herself/themselves together and put the past behind her/them.

Rosie the impoverished mother hits on a way to feed the Miller family. She takes up shoplifting, an occupation whose career prospects are somewhat limited if you get caught.

A man who knows his way round a fusebox is never short of female companionship. In Emmerdale (ITV1), Paddy the vet discovers this when he goes round to Viv's place and she blows a fuse. She gets hot under the collar and before you can say "Mind the trip switch", the pair are puckering up and locking lips.

One of the youngest Emmerdale residents, Victoria, turns to crime - horse-rustling, to be precise - after she isn't given a pony for her birthday.

Brothers Matthew and Jimmy have a bet, not on Victoria's horse but on Louise. Matthew King is determined to bed the blonde, but brother Jimmy reckons he won't succeed. A wager is agreed and Matthew turns up the charm to sweet talk Louise into a horizontal position.

Published: 24/03/2005