It's Ruby Tuesday - in Wigan

It's not just any old Tuesday night in Wigan, of course, more a road to Wigan peerless. Sunderland are playing, potential Championship decider, April 5.

"It was probably either that or a bunch of half dead chrysanthemums from a garage forecourt," says Dee.

"I've known my husband for 40 years and being a wonderful wife I agreed, but I hadn't realised how God forsaken Wigan seems to be. He's got the tickets so I know he must be serious; we'll probably stay overnight at a motorway service station."

"I thought she'd be grateful," insists Frank, 63. "At least she didn't just say no, but perhaps she was speechless.

"When you've made as many cricket teas as she has, a trip to Wigan should sound like paradise.

"She doesn't like pies, but I suppose she might go a Bovril."

He was a member of the formidable Sunderland side of the 60s and 70s, the team picture on his desk showing nine County men - Biddulph, Burridge, Birtwistle - among the 11.

Only John Land and wicket keeper Billy Dove failed to win Durham honours, and Land played hockey for Great Britain, instead.

He made 39 county appearances between 1969-78, hitting 11 half centuries but top scoring with 83 - before lunch against Cheshire at Hartlepool. "It has to be said they were a pretty rubbish bowling side," he says, modestly.

He's a solicitor in Sunderland, lives near Houghton-le-Spring, has a couple of seats from the old Clock Stand in the garden and a signed shirt on the wall.

Friends also reckon him a talented after dinner speaker. "He changes clothes as he goes along, eventually becoming Victor Meldrew," says one.

Dee worked for Tyne Tees Television on the 1966 World Cup and with George Taylor on Shoot.

"I always used to enjoy our occasional visits to Darlington," she says. "It amused me that the crowd, as well as the teams, changed ends at half time."

He's a Stadium of Light regular, believes that Mick McCarthy's team isn't as good as the side which won promotion under Peter Reid; she's an infrequent visitor.

"She claims to know a lot about it, but can't because she often says that Sunderland are rubbish," says Frank. "If we win at Wigan, the title's ours."

"He's a little silly," says Dee. "He thinks they'll win at Wigan but I'm pretty sure they won't. That's what worries me; if they lose it'll make the perfect wedding anniversary complete."

A red card for referee Billy Kehir after Darlington RA's surprise Wearside League defeat by Boldon CA last Saturday - though the poor chap didn't put a foot wrong.

For RA, bidding to return to the Northern League for the first time in 80 years, it was only the season's fourth defeat - two in the league and two in league cups. Mr Kehir has been the referee in all of them.

Team manager Dave Woodcock, the former Quakers midfielder, reckons him among the league's best officials. "It wasn't his fault and he had a good game as usual, it's just that he's never seen us win.

"After the game I shook his hand, thanked him, and told him that I saw him again, I'd string him up from the crossbar."

Doug Hawman, long serving secretary of the Darlington and District League, was also up at the RA - now pretty certain that the league's 112th season will be its last.

Only six teams remain, two of whom have already made precautionary applications elsewhere. "It doesn't look like there'll be a sudden rush of interest now," he admits.

"Saturday afternoon grass roots football just seems to have died, leagues have folded all over the North-East."

Among the six are our old friends from the Hole in the Wall, in the league's Invitation Cup final a week on Wednesday. As usually has been the invitation only case, they haven't won a single game to get there.

Among those watching tomorrow's FA Vase semi-finals with particular interest - a first all-Northern League national final since 1954 still a distinct possibility - will be league sponsor Brooks Mileson.

The munificent Mileson has bought made-to-measure new suits for the four Northern League sides which have reached the Vase final during his companies' eight years as league sponsor.

Now he faces having to cut his cloth to kit out both squads - and, he thinks, they're already bespoken for.

"I'd be the proudest man alive, I'm pretty confident that both Bedlington and Jarrow Roofing can do it," he says. That's where the smart money is, anyway.

Tuesday's report on Roofing's first leg tie at Didcot suggested that the south Oxfordshire town was known for little more than its stations, railway and power. John Milburn in Chester-le-Street points out that it's also 20th in The Idler Book of Crap Towns - "an interesting little tome" - sub-titled the 50 worst places to live in the UK. Didcot almost knew that already. The club programme reckons they were 21st - and what, it asks plaintively, about Dunstable, Milton Keynes and Aylesbury?

Mention in Tuesday's column of Alan Townsend, the former Warwickshire cricketer who began working life at Head Wrightson's forge in Stockton, sent the Beardless Wonder hurrying to the record books.

"The loveliest feller you could ever hope to meet," he says, without having to consult them at all.

Townsend played for Thornaby and Eppleton before 13 summers at Edgbaston in which he played 346 first class matches, five times topped 1,000 runs in a season, top scored with 154 against Worcestershire, had bowling figures of 7-84 against Essex in 1949 and held 409 catches.

Subsequently he spent 16 years as professional for Mitchell and Butler's brewery - than which there may be worse engagements - and, alive and well, has just celebrated his diamond wedding in the Midlands.

Jack Watson, long familiar all rounder with Durham and Northumberland, went for Warwickshire trials at the same time as Alan Townsend - grand lad, he reckons.

"I remember they put the nets up on the middle of the square with a row of chairs behind them for the committee," recalls Jack, 84 next month.

"The bowler was a feller called Tom Pritchard, New Zealander, reckoned one of the fastest in the world. Before the net he had a word, said he'd bowl on off stick or away from off stick, so I'd have a chance.

"He was as good as his word. Most other men would have tried to knock your head off."

Like Alan Townsend, Jack - long in Shildon - was offered a contract. Unlike him, he turned it down. "I was a policeman at the time and they wanted me to transfer to Birmingham City police for a year to see if it worked out." He stopped happily at home.

the first North-East team to reach the FA Cup quarter-final (Backtrack March 22) was Redcar, of all folk, in 1886.

George Gallon in Spennymoor, among those who cracked it, reckons that although 130 teams entered, Redcar had a bye until the fifth round, beat Middlesbrough and then went down to Small Heath, later Birmingham City.

Blackburn Rovers won the Cup before a 15,000 crowd at the Oval.

Brian Shaw in Shildon today invites readers to name the only side to have played home Football League games at Wembley Stadium.

Home from home, the column returns on Tuesday.