MANY parents are worried when their children develop seemingly irrational fears from an early age.

In my family we had one child who couldn't tolerate a gap in the curtains in case he saw the moon, another who had a phobia about keys and getting locked out, another who had nightmares after being read fairy stories (especially Little Red Riding Hood) and another who was terrified of peacocks because of "the way their tails just come out".

Almost all children experience fears at some stage in their development. Fears are a normal part of childhood and it is interesting that children tend to experience similar fears at similar ages.

Toddlers and younger pre-school children are more prone to fears about specific things in their environment, older pre-school children and early primary age children are more likely to experience imaginary fears and older primary and teenagers have more fears about social situations.

Types of children's fears

* Environmental fears are understandable anxieties about real things. Common fears include things such as animals, thunder, the dark, burglars and strangers

l Imaginary fears are worries about things such as ghosts and monsters from stories and movies.

l Social fears are anxieties about social situations such as being separated from mum, not being collected from school or experiencing new situations for the first time.

Most children grow out of most of their fears as they get older, though some fears and anxieties do persist into adulthood. It is important for parents to recognise and acknowledge their child's fears and anxieties and help them develop strategies to cope with them and eventually banish them for good.

Dealing with fears

AS parents we cannot protect our children from experiencing fear. It can even be a useful emotion helping children to avoid potentially dangerous situations. There are, however, some basic principles that parents can follow to help children deal with their fears.

Preparation

If at all possible, prepare your child for any experience they may find frightening. In a thunderstorm, if you see lightning flash, warn them that a loud bang is coming. If a child needs to visit the doctor or hospital, give them as much information as you can about what is going to happen.

Lead by example

Show by your own behaviour how you would like your child to respond to potentially scary situations. This is sometimes easier said than done - as a person with a fear of wasps, it always took every ounce of willpower not to go screaming down the road every time one approached me.

This strategy helps you in three ways. Firstly, it shows him what to do in the particular situation he finds threatening. Secondly, it shows him nothing bad is going to happen to him, and thirdly, it teaches him that even if you are feeling a bit scared, facing your fear is the best way to deal with it.

Gradual exposure

If your child has a particular fear, help her to overcome it by exposing her to it in gradual steps, from least to most scary.

For example, if she is afraid of cats, start by showing her pictures of cats, then observing cats from a distance, then stroking a cat and so on. This is much more likely to be successful than the old idea of "throwing them in at the deep end", which is likely to increase your child's anxiety about the situation. Let your child set the pace - some fears will take longer than others to overcome.

Praise and encouragement

Praise and encourage any progress your child makes in overcoming their fears. Keep reminding them that they are being very brave. This will also have the effect of boosting his self image and help him to deal with future fears.

Shy children

A minority of children seem to be fearful by nature or temperament. From an early age, they will withdraw or avoid situations they find threatening. Chronically anxious children are often described as being shy and they find normal social situations, which other children take in their stride, very threatening and stressful.

In this situation parents need to understand that their child is having difficulties and is not just being "awkward". Social situations should be scaled down to what the child can manage and by using the measures described above their social world can gradually be expanded.

If these measures are not successful in reducing your child's fears and anxieties then do discuss the problem with your health visitor or GP who may suggest help from a child psychologist.

* Anne Sutton runs the nannying agency, Internannies, and has 30 years experience in childcare.