TITUS Bramble last night admitted that the personal strides he has made this season count for nothing when set against Newcastle's giant step backwards.
While the Magpies have tumbled down the Premiership table this term, Bramble has enjoyed his most consistent campaign since moving from Ipswich in July 2002.
After missing the first three months of the season with a groin problem, the 23-year-old's return to action coincided with Newcastle's surge towards both the UEFA and FA Cup finals.
But, just as the centre-half looked to be winning round the doubters who had questioned both his concentration and consistency, disaster struck.
A hernia operation forced him back onto the sidelines, and an aborted attempt at a comeback in Lisbon's Jose Alvalade Stadium culminated in the Magpies crashing out of the UEFA Cup at the quarter-final stage.
The defender's absence undoubtedly contributed to Newcastle's stunning second-half collapse but, while his importance to the side is now greater than ever, Bramble takes no pride from the personal improvements he has made.
With his side treading water in the bottom half of the Premiership, the last nine months will still go down as a massive disappointment.
"It's been a funny season for me, personally," said Bramble, who feels that a shortened summer holiday is the least he and his team-mates deserve after everything that has happened this season.
"I feel as though I've finally established myself here. I got a run of games and was playing the best football of my career. That is something to be proud of and I'm happy about it.
"But, overall, it has been a hugely depressing season for the club and for me. I got injured at the worst possible time of the season and missed a lot of our important games.
"When I went off against Sporting Lisbon and then had to watch from the bench while we lost the game, I was absolutely gutted and that will live with me for a long time. I missed the FA Cup semi-final as well which was obviously very frustrating.
"Then there is our Premiership form which has been the worst since I came to the club. We've pressed the self-destruct button so many times, it's embarrassing. I don't think any of us can look back on this season with any pride because, as a team, we've not done nearly as well as we should."
The club's failings mean that Graeme Souness will be forced into a major rebuilding operation this summer.
The Scot is understood to be looking to bring at least five new faces to St James' Park, with a similar number of players expected to leave through the exit door.
Bramble's future has been called into question more than once during his three-year stay on Tyneside but, after fostering an impressive partnership with Jean-Alain Boumsong, he is desperate to remain with the Magpies.
"I hope I'm still here next season because I want to help get this club back into Europe," he said. "I think I will be, but, after the season we've had, nobody can be certain about their future."
"We know this has not been good enough by Newcastle United's standards. We should not be in the bottom half of the Premiership."
That is where they will stay though, regardless of whether they beat champions Chelsea in the final game of the season next Sunday.
"I think everyone will be glad to see the back of this season," admitted Bramble. "But first we need to make sure we go out on a high and beat Chelsea next weekend. That would give us some confidence to go into next season with."
* Patrick Kluivert has revealed he will leave St James' Park this summer and return to Spain with Valencia, Seville and Real Betis all interested.
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