Parenting columnist Anne Sutton runs the nannying agency, Internannies, and has 30 years experience in childcare. This month she gives advice on toilet training.

HOW do I toilet train my two-yearold? He doesn't seem interested and my mother-in-law says all of her children were out of nappies by 15 months.

MANY parents become very concerned about how and when to start toilet training. It can become a competition, with relatives and friends giving conflicting advice.

Remember virtually all children are toilet trained by the time they go to school, so a few months here or there doesn't make a lot of difference now.

When is the right time?

On average most children are learning to use the potty at around two years old, but as with everything else in a child's development, each child is different. Up to 18 months it is unlikely your toddler would have the muscle control. Toddlers' bladders empty very frequently, making it difficult for them to hold on. It may take boys longer to learn, especially as they also have to learn how to wee standing up. Most boys learn sitting down first and dads or older brothers can then show them how to do it the other way.

Is your child ready?

There are some signs you can look out for to see if your toddler is ready to be toilet trained. He may:

Stay dry for a couple of hours during the day Let you know when he has wet or soiled his nappy Have bowel movements at regular times in the day Take an interest in other members of the family going to the toilet Are there times when it is advisable to wait before starting toilet training?

It is best not to start toilet training during any period of stress, for example:

The arrival of a new baby in the family When starting nursery or any other change in childcare arrangements Moving house Changing from a cot to a bed Family relationship problems or illness in the family Some parents find it easier to train their child in the summer time when they can run around with fewer clothes on.

TOILET TRAINING TIPS Always be very positive and encouraging - show this change as something exciting.

Give lots of praise when they 'perform' on the potty.

Be very relaxed about 'accidents', just say something like: "Never mind we'll try again later, " and change them with as little fuss as possible.

Don't rush things. Sometimes starting toilet training later takes less time in the end. Toddlers over two-and-a-half often become trained in less than a week.

Dress your toddler in clothes that can be pulled down easily - no fiddly buttons or dungarees.

Never force your child to sit on the potty - it will only upset them and may slow the process.

Some toddlers enjoy helping to choose their own potty and toilet seat.

It always takes longer for a child to become dry at night. When he starts having the occasional dry nappy at night, it may be a good time to try going without.

Should you encourage your toddler to use the toilet from the start, or should you begin with the potty?

Some toddlers are afraid that they will fall in the toilet, or be flushed away - older siblings often have a lot to answer for! Make sure you have a comfortable child toilet seat and a step to make it as easy as possible for your child. However, in the early stages, a potty can be much more child friendly. Your toddler can sit in the lap of luxury, feet firmly planted on the floor looking at a book, while they wait for something to happen!

If you are not having any luck with toilet training try to be relaxed about it. Don't try to force things - the chances are they are not ready. Take a break and begin again at a later time.

If you continue to be concerned about your child's toilet training, have a word with your health visitor or GP.

Published: 08/02/2005