"THIS garment is safe for you and for nature. Only materials tested to Oeko-Tex standard 100 have been used in its production." Well thank goodness for that. I might have worried.
I can understand why a fabric - or rather its production or eventual disposal - could harm the environment, but I've never been assured that a finished pair of trousers was "safe" for me. The worst risk, up to now, has been "too tight over the thighs".
It is, of course, all part of this super-cautious world we live in where no-one must, on any account, be subject to any risk. No conkers in the playground, no snowballing, no flag outside one Suffolk police office because PC Plod has to lean out of the window as he hoists it, no this, no that until "Health and Safety" becomes a mockery of its proper self.
Sometimes, I admit, H&S is plain common sense and is as simple as handwashing or painting the edges of steps yellow. Many of us are now subject to checks with the Criminal Records people because we have some contact with other people's children. I've been "CRB-ed" simply because I'm on a rota of volunteers to make drinks for children at a creche - and I'm in the kitchen, with the children out of reach on the other side of the hatch - but I'm not grumbling.
All too often, however, it is over-cautious; over-cautious enough for us older ones to wonder how we survived cricket with a corky in the playground or being bundled on to the back of a lorry to travel a mile to the Sunday school picnic, both no-nos today.
Somewhere along the way, we have lost the reasonable balance between acceptable risk and genuine danger and we are going to bring up a generation of children who think the world is made of cushions.
Thank goodness some of them are still allowed to have a sense of adventure. Alicia Hempleman-Adams, all of 15, walked to the North Pole last month with a team of four, including her PE teacher (good heavens, did no-one try to stop the teacher, on the grounds of professional irresponsibility?). I'd like to think that, in her family's place, I'd have said: "OK, if that's what you want to do," and just quietly made sure all the right advice and kit were in place.
Risk and challenge are often very close partners and risk can be assessed, to see if challenge can be met.
But, even worse than losing the chance to learn to assess danger by taking risks, is that, in some quarters, children are being misled into believing there is no such thing as failure because their school has never had a sports day, class placings or red stars for good work.
It's a competitive world out there. People do fail exams, fail to get into their chosen - or any - university, muff an interview, get made redundant, get dumped by the love of their life. Deal with it.
Except that these poor souls won't. They will have been deprived of the experience of failing the spelling test or falling over in the egg and spoon, which would tell them: "It ain't the end of the world, kid," and, echoing Scarlett O'Hara: "Tomorrow is another day."
The learning curve is steeper, the older you get. Picking yourself up is best learned young.
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