Redcar MP Vera Baird joked as she made the traditional light-hearted opening speech that one of the town's schools used to be so tough it had its own coroner.

The Labour back-bencher, right, had MPs roaring with laughter when she said the school was among the first to check for guns and knives - and arm pupils if they had forgotten to bring any.

Ms Baird, picked as the seconder of the "loyal address" during yesterday's Parliamentary proceedings, referred to a Redcar-born back-bencher by saying: "I know the school where he used to go. It's a very good school - now.

"They were somewhat ahead of their time when, in his day, they searched you for guns and knives on the way in - and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.

"I wouldn't say it was a tough school, but they did appoint their own coroner."

But she added quickly: "My constituents, please note, these are jokes."

Ms Baird, who was later tipped as a future minister by Tory leader Michael Howard, also joked about her own reputation for being longwinded as a Queen's Counsel in High Court.

She said: "Once a judge commented to the jury that 'In Ms Baird's closing address there were no wasted words - she used every one I knew at least twice'.

"He later added 'Although I very much enjoyed listening to her arguments, I was sorry to miss my children growing up'."

During the serious part of her speech, Ms Baird praised Labour's programme to improve public service for ensuring not only "lucky" working-class people could achieve success.

She spoke about her own working-class upbringing in Oldham, which forced her to reject a place at a grammar school because her family could not afford the bus fare.

Now the expansion of the Sure Start programme and more child care - including plans for 8am to 6pm care at schools - was offering greater opportunity to all.