Nul points for style - but we love it

BRITAIN has a far from straightforward relationship with the Eurovision Song Contest. On the one hand, it's subject to a great deal of ridicule: a celebration of bland, worthless Europop, beloved of countries where David Hasselhof is regarded as a musical giant, and far beneath a nation which gave the world the Beatles and the Rolling Stones.

On the other hand, it hurts like hell when we come last.

Thankfully, this has only happened once, although when it happened we did it with style. Liverpudlian duo Jemini scored "nul points" with Cry Baby in 2003. It was a national humiliation. Their failure to gain a point from any of the other 25 countries makes Chris Crombey and Gemma Abbey the least successful entry in the history of the contest.

This year marks the 50th outing for the competition. It may be widely derided, at least in the UK, but it began with the lofty founding principle to "stimulate the output of original, high-quality songs" by encouraging international comparisons. Whether this has ever been the case is a matter for debate, but in 1956 the contest also had the objective of promoting the new medium of television.

Britain did not take part in that first contest, held in Switzerland. It had been conceived by the European Broadcasting Union, the newly-formed group of public service broadcasters, and was originally proposed as a one-off "Grand Prix of European Song".

In a fitting display of incompetence, the UK registered too late to enter, although it did screen the final. Each of the seven competing countries submitted two songs, the only time this has been allowed. Marks were awarded by two judges from each country.

No video exists of the inaugural event, or even a record of the scores, but what is known is that it was won by Switzerland, with Lyn Assia singing Refrain. It may have helped that the two Luxembourg judges were Swiss.

Britain managed to get its entry in on time for the following year, when Patricia Bredin came in seventh out of ten with All. It was not exactly an auspicious debut for the UK, and at one minute 50 seconds it is also the shortest song in the competition's history, but our record since then has been much improved. With five victories, the UK is joint second in the winners' table, behind Ireland's seven and level with Luxembourg and France.

To mark its half century, John Kennedy O'Connor has written the official history of Eurovision. Although he disputes the term "anorak", he cheerfully admits to an obsession with the competition, which first began with an infatuation with UK representative Clodagh Rodgers, fourth in 1971 with Jack in the Box.

Although he was not allowed to stay up to watch the final, it was the first record he ever owned, and a year later was glued to his television when the New Seekers, the first group to represent Britain, were second with Beg, Steal or Borrow.

'I was absolutely hooked. I love the competitive element of it, and it is the only opportunity to hear music like this. It brings all these countries together and gives them a chance to compete," he says.

"It is such a meaningless thing, but it takes itself desperately seriously. It is the kitsch, it is the glamour, it is the awful costumes and the dancing. It is just all of those things together."

He puts British disdain for the contest down to feelings of musical superiority, although interest in Eurovision remains high. Around 11 million viewers tuned in last year, more than half the total television audience.

"We send amateurs to take part, whereas other countries send their biggest stars," he says. "The Eastern Europeans and the Scandinavians are very serious about it, although the French and Germans are less so.

"Possibly the bigger the country, the less seriously they take it, but it is a great leveller: you have tiny countries like Malta being able to compete with the big countries like Germany and Britain."

British entries were not always unknowns. In the 1960s we were represented by Matt Monro, Cliff Richard, Lulu and Sandie Shaw, whose winning entry, Puppet on a String, became the biggest selling single in the UK in 1967. But few subsequent British acts have had the success of Bucks Fizz, who went on to have a string of hits after Making Your Mind Up won the 1981 contest.

That year, Italy boycotted Eurovision after a number of low placings, and throughout its history the contest has been dogged by claims that voting has more to do with national prejudices than the quality of the songs. While there is some evidence for this - Ireland has given the UK top marks on only two occasions - O'Connor believes it is more to do with culture than politics, particularly since the voting was opened up to viewers rather than the original jury system.

"Neighbours vote for neighbours because they recognise the music or the singers and so it appeals to them. Maybe the juries were biased when it was just a handful of people, but I don't think anybody sitting at home with a phone makes a political decision," he says.

Eurovision's record in picking memorable songs is not great, even Lulu hated Boom-Bang-A-Bang, but there have been occasions when it has covered itself in glory, none more so than with Waterloo, Sweden's winning entry in London in 1974 - the year the Wombles were the interval act, to the bafflement of the rest of Europe. Not only is it still popular 30 years on, but it launched the career of one of the world's biggest ever groups, Abba.

But despite its 50 year pedigree, there is no winning Eurovision formula. Ballads and up tempo songs have both won their fair share, but the running order can play as much of a part as the type of song. A ballad sung among other ballads is unlikely to stand out. And the style of song which does well is constantly changing.

It is for this reason that O'Connor reckons the British entry to this year's contest, Javine, is unlikely to do well, despite the best efforts of the BBC to restore national pride in Kiev tonight.

'It is very contemporary, but it is a copy of what Eurovision was doing three or four years ago," he says. Javine may also be hit by the curse of number two: no artist singing second has ever won.

"There is something about Eurovision winners, but it is impossible to say what it is," O'Connor adds. "Recently, you have had to have a very elaborate stage show, although I have a feeling the pendulum is about to swing back and it is going to be very simple."

The favourites this year are Greece, Bosnia and Sweden, but O'Connor picks out Hungary and Malta as outsiders, and has a soft-spot for the Dutch entry, although he reckons it is unlikely to do well.

But while Eurovision may have been created from the best motives, it is not the search for "high-quality songs" which keeps it going.

"It is just an entertainment, and from that perspective it does still have its purpose," says O'Connor. "If you start looking for something serious it probably doesn't have a point, but as three hours of television where countries compete with silly songs it works perfectly."

* The Eurovision Song Contest: 50th Anniversary - The Official History by John Kennedy O'Connor (Carlton Books £14.99)

* The Eurovision Song Contest is tonight, BBC1, 8pm.

Eurovision - the legend

Counting all the performers on stage, six is the optimum number, as the winning combination on 18 occasions. A lone performer is next, with 11 wins.

Only five winners have sung sitting down - Udo Jurgens (Austria) in 1966; Dana (Ireland) in 1970; Johnny Logan (Ireland) 1980; Nicole (Germany) 1982, and Harrington and McGettigan (Ireland) 1994.

Boom-Bang-A-Bang, which tied for first in 1969, was chosen as the British entry by TV viewers ahead of I Can't Go On Living Without You, written by the then-unknown partnership of Elton John and Bernie Taupin.

Norway has the record for the most last places, ten, and has scored "nul points" on five occasions, another record.

Johnny Logan (Ireland) is the only performer to win twice, in 1980 and 1987, although Rolf Lovland was a member of Secret Garden, 1995 winners, after previously accompanying 1985 winners Bobbysocks.

White or white and pink are the most successful colour schemes, with five victories.

Katie Boyle has presented the contest on a record four occasions.

Denmark won in 1963 but waited 37 years for their next victory, in 2000, the longest gap between wins, although Austria are still waiting after 39 years.

The highest number of top marks was ten for Katrina and the Waves with Love Shine a Light in 1997.

The UK has finished second on 15 occasions.