I'D been persuaded to go on a blind date last week which didn't happen after all. My man bottled it.

He hadn't been in touch in spite of having my email for over a week, so I knew something was up. On the morning of our date, I got a cursory email from him saying that he was going abroad and so couldn't make it. Maybe when he gets back. . . etc, etc, he said before signing off.

I was both disappointed and relieved. My friend had really had to work on me to agree to the date and he had apparently seemed keen on it, according to her. I was a bit dismayed by the timing - wasn't he supposed to suffer the pain of rejection after the event, not before you'd even met each other? I wondered whether he had actually been too busy or whether he got turned off by my pushy friend's insistence that he had to meet me as soon as possible as if my shelf life was rapidly expiring.

Anyway, my friend was furious and said she felt terribly let down. I told her to calm down but a day later she phoned to tell me she'd emailed him to ask him out again for me on his return.

By this time I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed by her attentiveness. OK, she was the middle-man but perhaps she was getting a little overinvolved. Or perhaps I was just better at handling rejection than her.

She'd sent him an email suggesting a drink with a few of us so it would not appear as intimidating as a blind date. She said she did so because she hated unfinished business. "You have to meet him just so you can strike him off, " she said.

I felt resigned to her iron will. I also felt curious about this bloke who dismissed me outright. I felt myself dwelling on the aborted date far longer than if I had met him for an hour of tepid conversation.

After my friend had calmed down a bit we both decided that I really shouldn't be chasing him at this stage.

He was single and looking for a partner. She'd made it very easy for him to meet an available single woman. It really shouldn't have been so difficult for him.

He might have been as wonderful as she had made out but I decided that I needed someone who would at least be excited enough about me to turn up for a friendly drink, but I did learn a few lessons through it all.

My usual response to his email would have been to delete it and carry on as if nothing had happened. But it got me thinking and I wondered what had stopped me from getting in touch first - I had had his email after all.

Why had I left it up to him?

I wrote back a chirpy email saying I was looking forward to meeting and sorry I hadn't got in touch before. And the outcome of my habit-breaking step in the right direction? Nothing.

No answer. The man just wasn't interested.

Published: 30/05/2005