Slaughterhouse - The Task of Blood (BBC2); Escape to the Legion (C4): IT may not quite have been what the careers officer was expecting when young Arran came in for his interview. Careers officer: "So, what do you want to be when you leave school?". Arran: "I want to kill animals."
But Arran had always wanted to be a slaughterman, ever since his mum used to take him to the abattoir when he was young, to pick his slaughterman dad up from work. "I kill animals for a living, all day every day. I really like the job," said Arran. If his dad had worked in a garden centre he could have been growing things instead.
Arran was featured in Slaughterhouse - The Task of Blood, a slice of life in an Oldham abattoir whose rather solemn title was taken from the slaughtermen's code. According to film-maker Brian Hill, the theory is that if everyone knew what went on in an abattoir, no-one would eat meat.
It was brutal and not for the squeamish, but it was also a refreshing antidote to the attitude which detaches the meat on our plates from the animals in their fields. As Arran said: "People might think I'm sick doing what I do, but they don't think I'm sick when they eat what is on their plate every Sunday."
But the film was really about the slaughtermen rather than the process itself, and what was truly distasteful was not the killing itself, but the cavalier attitude to death. Perhaps that is the only response among those who carry out the jobs most of us would rather close our eyes to, but a slaughterman saying happy birthday to a cow before he fires a bolt through its head, and workers throwing entrails at each other, was more unnerving than seeing a pig's trotters being sliced off.
It was curious that the people with the most respectful attitude to their task were those whose religious beliefs mean they kill animals by slitting their throats, rather than stunning them first: the kosher and halal slaughtermen.
But if Slaughterhouse did put anyone off eating meat, it shows only that most of us would rather not know where it comes from. As Gareth the cleaner said: "The animals can't kill themselves."
Escape to the Legion was in the tradition of reality shows where a bunch of recruits are given hell by purple-faced sergeants, but this time the recruits had joined the French Foreign Legion.
Formed in 1831, the Legion was a mercenary army created to fight France's colonial wars. Now comprising around 8,000 men, who sign up for a minimum of five years, it still has a fearsome reputation for toughness and brutality.
Last night's 12 recruits, including former mountaineer Bear Grylls, joined for only a month, but were given the same treatment as regular recruits. This included running up sand dunes in 40 degree heat, doing ten pull ups before each meal and learning the Legion's songs, some of which, worryingly, were introduced by the Waffen SS soldiers who enlisted after the end of the Second World War.
The instructors were uncompromising. "Pain is weakness leaving your body," said one. "A man who cannot lift his own weight is a waste of oxygen," said a particularly harsh sergeant.
After just one night, Terry, a computer salesman from Edinburgh, had had enough. This may have been quite reasonable given what was coming, but as all he'd had to do by that point was have his head shaved and get up at 5am, it did seem particularly wimpish. He did have a history of not finishing things, though, so perhaps going in the Legion was a bit optimistic.
Published: 05/07/2005
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