How many headlines have there been over the past few days about John Terry scoring away from home? I've lost count.

There's more today: "Disgraced Terry keeps on scoring," says the Daily Mail.

It's the 'Carry On' school of newspapers. You can almost hear the headlines being read out by Kenneth Williams or Frankie Howerd.

In fact, the headline-writers are getting spoilt. Just when they'd had their fill of Tiger Woods puns - "Tiger bags another birdie" (Titter ye not!) - along comes the philandering Chelsea captain.

If I was him, I'd make sure I didn't score again this season at least.