HUMAN BED-WARMERS

To be honest, I never thought that I was obliged to take a stance on this issue. However, as someone who has recently taken to wearing socks in bed when temperatures have plummeted, it occurs to me that maybe I should have a view.

On reflection I can understand why the question was posed. The element of suspicion that might be engendered when one spouse returns from a business trip to tell their partner how the bed was warmed for them by a god or goddess dressed from top to toe in fleece, could theoretically be damaging for their relationship. However, Holiday Inn has given assurances that the bed warmers will leave before the guests snuggle down between the sheets, so I do think it would be unfair for anyone to suggest otherwise.

Nonetheless and after careful consideration, I am going to say that I do think Holiday Inn by its actions could inadvertently risk increasing the divorce rate. After all, a bed that’s cosy from head to foot avoids the need for a couple to snuggle up together. Now what is that going to do for romance and those couples looking to rekindle lost feelings? There has to be a risk that this practice, if fully implemented across the complete chain of Holiday Inn’s hotels, could add to yet another increase in the divorce rate.

Come to think of it will our political parties with their love of legislation and currently vying with each other on ways to keep marriages intact, soon add to their manifestoes a bill to outlaw the art of bed-warming? Banning electric blankets, hot water bottles and humans dressed in fleece might still do nothing for their ratings but it will keep me in my socks for a little longer.