Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Michael Sheen, Dakota Fanning
Running time: 130 mins
Rating: ★★★

BELLA and Edward are like a horror movie version of Romeo and Juliet. They’re young and in love but it can never be. She’s human and he’s a vampire which makes a normal loving relationship tricky.

The second chapter of Stephenie Meyer’s best-selling Twilight saga ends with a proposal that could change everything. Before that we have 130 minutes of teen fantasy featuring topless young men, Robert Pattinson looking pastyfaced and werewolves that wouldn’t frighten anybody.

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The Twi-hard fans will be well satisfied and the movie isn’t boring despite the two hoursplus running time. But it is also, on occasion, downright hilarious as the script seems little more than an exercise in discovering excuses for fit young men to remove their shirts.

Fans will be less happy with the way Pattinson’s character, Edward, disappears for half the movie. He leaves Bella after her 18th birthday because he doesn’t want to endanger her life. A spot of necking and a few love bites from him could be fatal.

Distraught Bella (Kristen Stewart) finds she can conjure up Edward’s image whenever she puts herself in danger. She also pals up with childhood friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner) only to find he has a secret of his own – he’s a werewolf. His whole family are werewolves, in fact.

These large dogs aren’t exactly cute and cuddly but neither are they remotely frightening. Much scarier is Pattinson’s delayed delivery of lines – talking slowly, perhaps to compensate for not having too much screen time.

The third instalment is on the way. You have been warned.