Let's get one thing straight, despite all the bluster and bravado, Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley may say he has taken the club off the market - but he hasn't.

If someone was to offer him the supposed £80m asking price he desires then he'd snap their hand off as quickly as you could say a pint of fizzy and a jar of jellied eels.

Ashley made it known he was "totally committed to the future success of Newcastle United" and "taking the club forward" on several previous occasions before. Why should supporters, or anyone for that matter, believe him now when all his preceding statements have been laced with empty rhetoric - or lies? He has, after all, recently confessed to misleading the Newcastle public as "a PR exercise" when trying to reach a settlement with former boss Kevin Keegan.

He's also contrived to upset two of the Magpies' greatest living legends in Keegan and Alan Shearer. Two figures who, more than just about anyone else associated with the Newcastle United, symbolise: honesty, pride, integrity and dignity. Now, the bungling owner, says he is planning to "welcome offers for the stadium naming rights for next season." It's as if he's wiping his backside on 117 years of history at St James' Park. You could almost hear Sir Bobby Robson, Jackie Milburn, Colin Veitch and Joe Harvey turn in their graves at the announcement. It's as if he and his stooge, managing director Derek "Del Boy" Llambias, have sat down and conspired to deliver the ultimate insult to United's loyal following! You can just imagine the conversation in the boardroom.

Ashley: Del Boy, another porky pie?

Llambias: "Why not?"

Ashley: "Well then, me old Cockney Sparra, what else can we do to upset these Geordie mugs?"

Llambias: "Well, we've already upset their two greatest living legends, so why not rename the stadium with a sponsor to recoup some of the money we've lost? If that doesn't upset them then nothing will!"

Ashley: "Yeah, why not. I hate stottie cakes and pease pudding. Give me jellied eels anyday."

It will be hard to gauge whether supporters' reactions, at the next home game against Peterborough, will match the previous demonstration against Hull 14 months ago, following Keegan's constructive dismissal. But you can bet it'll be vociferous and full of venom.

Ashley's short tenure at St James' Park has been fraught with knee-jerk reactions and outrageous decisions built on a foundation of false economy. In short, it has been nothing short of spectacularly hapless. Last week he admitted he knows nothing about running a football club yet, he claims he is responsible for bringing players to the club - staggering! Is it any wonder the club was relegated and is sinking faster than a torpedoed dolphin? Not that Ashley needed to tell United fans he was out of his depth - actions speak louder than words. Sack Allardyce; install Keegan; sack Keegan; install Joe Kinnear; replace Kinnear with Shearer; sell players at an enormous profit, reinvest in has beens, never will bes and loans; and replace Shearer with an inexperienced manager.

There are many Newcastle supporters who believe Kenny Daglish and Graeme Souness were behind some conspiracy to destroy the club and prevent them rising above their beloved Liverpool. A bit fanciful, but we'll save that debate for another time.

Ashley's reason for destroying the good name of the club is a little more complicated - or is it? Would a former Tottenham fan do it because he feared the Magpies were flying higher than the Cockerels? Not really, it doesn't make any more sense than the Daglish and Souness conspiracy theories.

Is it not just simply a case of Ashley trying to flush out potential buyers? Why else would he continue to make a mockery of the club?