A BABYSITTER cleared of killing a toddler says she is now a prisoner of the past.

Suzanne Holdsworth was jailed for life in 2005 after being convicted of killing twoyear- old Kyle Fisher by banging his head against a banister at her home in Hartlepool.

She was babysitting for his mum, Clare, who was on a night out.

Her partner, Lee Spencer, battled to clear her name, after unearthing medical evidence that showed Kyle suffered from a combination of brain disorders.

The Court of Appeal quashed the conviction, and she was cleared at a retrial last December after new medical evidence suggested Kyle died after suffering from an epileptic fit, which Ms Holdsworth had told police all along.

Despite being free, the 38- year-old, who now lives in East Yorkshire, has been left severely traumatised by her wrongful conviction and three years of imprisonment.

She has also explained why she attempted suicide while in prison.

She said: “It wasn’t because people said I was guilty, it was the kids. Every day your kids come to visit you and it was brilliant. But when they walk away it’s a false smile, a false wave and you can see the hurt inside them.

“I thought, if I end my own life, they wouldn’t be upset every day.”

She often stays inside the house all day, wearing pyjamas and a fleece dressing gown, which she even wears to the supermarket and to her friends’ houses.

She said she has had no help in rebuilding her life after serving time in Low Newton prison, County Durham.

“They make this thing up that you’re supposed to have done and throw you in jail, then throw you out and say, ‘you pick up the pieces’,” she said.

Mr Spencer, her partner of 20 years, said that the investigation led by the Independent Police Complaints Commission into Cleveland Police’s handling of the case, which has yet to report, may give Ms Holdsworth some kind of closure.

He added: “She’s not the same person. She’s a tearful, clingy person now.”