Here’s another cracking tale from Ally Milroy, with the necessary endorsements of course!

What a crew!

Smurf, Hutchy, Jonna (our kid) and me on a 2 week 18-30 holiday in Tenerife.

Every day on the way up from the beach we’d buy 2 crates of local hooch to drink over a hand of cards before heading out, just the little titty bottles which were a tidy aperitif before the full session. Hutchy would take any left overs down to the pool the following morning and drink them for breakfast whilst laid in his rubber ring.

Anyway, the last night we’d invited a few of the folks from round the pool up for a drink. So returning from the beach we called in the shop for several strong liquors and 3 crates of our usual. Unfortunately they’d only 2 crates left, so we bought a crate of another unknown Spanish beer.

Loading the apartment fridge up 20 mins later I made a critical observation, the 3rd crate was Sin Alcohol!!

It was quite a walk back down a steep traversing hill to the shop on a hot day so Jonna reluctantly agreed to help me with the repacked offending article. Upon arrival I produced the receipt and explained our predicament in Geordie Spanish to the till girl, pointing to the bottle and explaining “Nee alcohol si?”

Jonna’s reference to cats’ p#ss didn’t help but we managed to negotiate a swap after carefully checking the alcohol content of the replacement crate.

Jonna didn’t want to carry the crate so lingered by the door while the girl took the receipt and tilled up the balance. When a mere 50 pesetas appeared on the till Jon suddenly took interest, sloped over, picked up the crate, nudged me and quietly said ‘Hurry up young’un.

I knew exactly what he was thinking and by the time I’d paid and got to the shop door Jonna was already moving quickly up the hill and beckoning for me to do likewise.

When I finally turned the first bend a breathless Jonna was standing with the crate as proud as punch, “She only charged us 50 pesetas for it, come on, lets shift before she realises!”

As he made to charge off again I got his attention, “Jonna, how daft are you? It’s only 50 pesetas cos we’ve already paid for the crate we put back.”

His urgency suddenly vanished; shambling up to me he pushed the beer into my arms saying “Well in that case you can carry it!”