FORTY years in the funny old game and comedian Seth Shildon - aka Trevor Shaw, from Cockfield - stars in his own DVD, filmed at Cockton Hill club in Bishop Auckland.
Trevor tells this little gem.
It concerns George Reynolds's time as chairman of Darlington FC, George anxious to introduce a raw 16-year-old into the team but manager David Hodgson doubting the lad's experience and confidence.
George insists the confidence bit is left to him. Half an hour before kick-off he brings a hypnotist into the dressing room. He tells the lad he has the ball control of Pele, the speed of Thierry Henry, the heading ability of Alan Shearer and the balance (shall we say) of Ronaldo.
When the teams run out, however, the kid's nowhere to be seen. Hodgy hurries back into the dressing room to find him changed back into civvies and heading for the door.
"You don't think," he says, "that I'm going to play with those useless buggers, do you?"
I’ve told Seth that the ex-chairman will love it!
Then just Trevor Shaw, his career began at a 1967 talent contest in Wolsingham Club. "I was seventh out of six. I entered about 20 contests after that and never got in the first three, but then one Sunday I won two in a day - Spennymoor dog track in the afternoon and Thornley Workmen's at night.
"I couldn't believe it, I was so used just to getting my half crown for turning up. It was like being in Las Vegas."
The DVD of his act, with supporting interviews, was recorded at Cockton Hill WMC in Bishop Auckland by local firm Izon, from down the road in South Church.
"It's absolutely brilliant, but if anything Trevor was more nervous in front of Cockton Hill Club than he'd been at London Palladium," says Graham Sheldon, the promoter. "It was probably because he knew everyone, but the feedback we've had has been tremendous."
■ The DVD is available (£5.95, plus £1 postage) from Sheldon's Newsagents, 122 Cockton Hill Road, Bishop Auckland, Co Durham, DL14 6BG.
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