THE glass-jawed Fran Cotton is just about the last person I would pick a fight with. Looking something like a gorilla, his mud-encrusted face in a photograph taken on a British Lions tour to New Zealand still adorns many rugby clubs.

Once he stopped playing he set up Cotton Traders, the company who have now been awarded the franchise to run the shop at Durham’s Riverside ground. They have some nice gear for sale, but it seems their tills are not set up to cope with anything other than their own produce. That’s why they couldn’t sell the programme for the opening Friends Provident Trophy tie against Yorkshire, and I assume it’s also why they can’t sell my book, Summers With Durham.

I had expected the Riverside shop to be my main outlet, but I’m still awaiting a response to an email I sent them a month ago. Not that I’m contemplating a stinging letter to the company’s founder because every cloud has a silver lining and the club kindly allowed me to do some book signings in the media centre reception area.

The LV County Championship trophy was on display there during the lunch and tea intervals last week, bringing in a steady stream of fans to be photographed with the cup. Many of them thought the trophy disappointing, but it still brings a lot of smiles after all those wooden spoons. “I never thought I’d live to see the day,” was a frequent comment and a book to celebrate the fact was not to be sneezed at. Thanks to all those who bought a copy. I’m almost halfway to breaking even.

ON my way to Somerset this week I’ve arranged to drop off some books at Edgbaston. The shop at Taunton has agreed to take some, and they are already in the shop at Cardiff’s Swalec Stadium, scene of the first Ashes Test. Whether they will be in the Riverside shop in time for the West Indies Test on May 14-18 remains to be seen.

Meanwhile they’re available by post (tel 01325 718212 or email timwellock@aol.com).

One order came from London and asked me to sign it: “To Tristan – Ian Botham was not your hairdresser.” When he lived in Durham, Tristan had his locks cropped by someone who was a dead ringer for Beefy. Or so he said.

It’s good to know that the game continues to foster eccentrics.

THERE were few greater eccentrics than Clement Freud, who sat alone in his deckchair at the first day's cricket at Riverside in 1994, when the second team played Middlesex.

Variously described as an author, broadcaster, chef, raconteur and MP, he died last week aged 84. At his funeral, rather than giving the date of his death, the order of service said: “Best before 15-04-09.”

THE appalling celebrity culture was all too evident in the media centre last week, not to mention the recession, which is forcing all newspapers to slash budgets.

One of the more reputable newspapers sent their North-East-based staff football reporter, for reasons of cost, and told him to concentrate on the supposed controversy surrounding Michael Vaughan’s first innings dismissal by Steve Harmison.

Cricket has always been the best of games on which to write about the actual play, but it seems increasingly to be taking a back seat to celebrity and controversy.

Among the nationals the Guardian provides the best cricket writing these days, notably from Wetherby-based David Hopps. But when Andrew Flintoff was injured on Friday he was told to write a big piece on Freddie and not bother with a match report from Riverside.

Flintoff even attracted some national reporters to Alderley Edge when he made his comeback after injury last season in a second team game at the leafy Cheshire ground.

He had been injured against Durham in the match at Old Trafford when he had his off stump knocked out by Garry Park.

In his only championship appearance of the season for Durham, the ex-wicketkeeper also bowled Stuart Law for figures of two for 20.

He bettered those last week when he took three for 25 for Derbyshire against Surrey, having also scored 50 when opening the batting in the second innings. It seems his move to Derby has been a good one.