The phone rings. It's Gordon Brown. Says he's having some problems with this recession thing and wants to discuss his Keynesian fiscal stimulus policy with the editor of The Northern Echo over champagne and canapes at No 10 Downing Street.

So what does the editor of The Northern Echo, knowing he is supposed to be on stage presenting an award at the Darlington Vibe Awards tonight, do?

Yes, he jumps on the first train down to London, dropping the presentation on his ever-loyal deputy editor, even though the long-suffering deputy is on crutches after another painful knee operation.

Won't it look funny when he hobbles on stage, trips over the podium, spills the award and falls flat on his face in front of all those people?

Not only that, he's dropped the bloomin' Headline Game on me. I'm going with the story on P14 where our television expert Steve Pratt analyses the future of ITV's troubled long-running series Heartbeat. "Is there still a pulse?" we ask.

Crutching at straws, I know, but I've got to run - sorry, hobble manfully - to be Pete Barron's body double at the Civic.