Count Binface has announced his manifesto for the upcoming general election in Richmond and Northallerton, with The Northern Echo getting an exclusive early look.
The self-dubbed 'intergalactic space warrior' is standing against PM Rishi Sunak to win the North Yorkshire seat.
Binface has unveiled a list of unconventional promises in his manifesto entitled ‘Bloody Loyal to Wherever I’m Standing for Election’ - a sly dig at former North West Durham MP Richard Holden who last year claimed to be loyal to the North East, before being selected to stand in Essex.
A 'space bridge' is among his key pledges, to help solve Northallerton High Street's traffic problems.
Water bosses being required to test the cleanliness of British rivers themselves and former Prime Ministers serving in a national service are among Binface's pledges.
Binface, who has previously contested the London Mayoral Elections, is also committed to reviving Ceefax and knighting Wallace and Gromit for services to Wensleydale.
He also pledges to deliver functional Wifi on trains alongside "trains that work".
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Economic pledges included building "at least one" affordable house, capping croissant prices at £1.10, making 99 Flakes 99p, and tying ministers’ pay to that of nurses for a century.
To combat noise pollution in cinemas and on public transport, loud snacks and speakerphones would be banned, respectively.
The latter even carries a peculiar punishment: "Offenders to be forced to live with Matt Hancock for a year."
Other proposals ranged from mandating MPs to live in the area they wish to represent four years before the election, to proposing himself as the UK's representative in the next Eurovision song contest.
The list of candidates include:
- Count Binface of the Count Binface Party.
- Daniel Callaghan of the Liberal Democrats.
- Lou Dickins of the Workers Party.
- Kevin Foster of the Green Party.
- Archibald Stanton of the Monster Raving Loony Party.
- Rishi Sunak of the Conservative Party.
- Lee Taylor of Reform UK.
- Tom Wilson of the Labour Party.
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