A Darlington mum has given a humbling testimonial to a County Durham counselling centre for survivors of sexual assault which “saved” her by providing care to her and her children who are survivors of abuse.
A rented flat above a Darlington bookshop was the beginning of the Rape and Sexual Abuse Counselling Centre (RSACC) in 1990, which began with hopes of providing survivors of sexual abuse a safe space to tell their story.
Now, over 30 years on, the Durham-based centre has embarked on delivering a course named The Keystone Project - 1:1 counselling and five group sessions for survivors and their parents across the county.
The first pilot course took place in February of this year following a £7,100 grant from Police and Crime Commissioner Joy Allen, who has subsequently provided a further £7,593 to deliver two more courses.
Alice* is one mum whose family have been impacted by sexual assault and the aftermath, and has received support from RSACC over the past ten months.
“I received an email about RSACC from the police after our ordeal. It has just been a mess - obviously, coming to The Keystone Project has really helped me", she said.
“Going up to Durham every Friday for The Keystone Project and speaking to the other parents who had similar experiences was great because I felt like I was quite alone.
“But, when I could talk about my experiences we were able to share our feelings and where we were at that point in time. I was constantly thinking how, why, how did I not notice? I was quite angry.”
Alice spoke of how her journey has been “really difficult” so far, expressing her fear in taking that first step to reach out for help.
She added: “Walking through that door was initially really difficult. But thankfully, I got that support and it really is so needed.
“I want to speak about this to show people that it is okay to reach out and get support.
“When it happens to you and your family, you feel like it’s just you, and it's just your family that is struggling.
“You don't see outside that box and you only see the hurt, anger and emotions that are happening to you - you cannot see past it.
“It is like living a nightmare, you don't know who to turn to, who to reach to and it is hard.”
Having now completed the programme, Alice explained the transformation and “emotional rollercoaster” she and her family have gone through.
“I have my good days and bad days - this is not something you get over, but something you learn to deal and cope with.
“We are survivors, but we are also warriors now.”
Isabel Owens, CEO of the Rape and Sexual Abuse Counselling Centre, commented: “Last year RSACC saw an 87% increase, compared to the previous 12 months, for referrals from children and young people for all our services.
“But behind every child sexual abuse survivor, there are parents and carers trying to provide support to their child whilst also trying to manage their own trauma over the abuse.
“From our extensive experience working with child survivors we were very aware that the caring adults in the family also needed support, as they are often left feeling isolated, experiencing shame and guilt.
“That's why we developed the course, and are naturally grateful for the funding from the Office of the Police and Crime Commissioner for both the pilot and the next two courses, starting in November.
“We have been overwhelmed by the positive feedback from our pilot. Much of this was down to our specialist counsellors, Maddy Hauxwell and Suzanne Hewlett, who developed and led the sessions.
“Having a child who has experienced sexual abuse is earth-shattering for families, but we believe the Keystone Project can help parents and carers to develop the coping skills needed to support themselves and their child.”
Police and Crime Commissioner Joy Allen, who has provided funding to the project, spoke of how “crucial” the service is across the county.
She said: “As the Police and Crime Commissioner, it is crucial for me to allocate funds to organisations that can provide comprehensive support to victims of rape and sexual offenses in County Durham and Darlington.
“In recent years, this has involved close collaboration with the police and academics through Operation Soteria. In May 2023, Jamie Allinson of RSACC Darlington and County Durham received the Limeculture award for being an inspirational independent sexual violence advisor (ISVA) manager.
“Jamie's dedication to improving the ISVA service and survivors' experiences with the criminal justice system is commendable.
“I am proud to say that the passion and dedication demonstrated by Jamie Allinson is reflected in the work of the entire RSACC team, from strategic leaders to operational ISVAs.
“They utilize their expertise and knowledge to advocate for victims and survivors. If you have been a victim of rape or sexual offence at any point in your life and are struggling to cope, I encourage you to seek support.
“Remember, you don't have to face this alone as help is available.”
*The name of the woman who provided the testimonial has been changed to protect her identity.*
If you have been affected by sexual assault or abuse, there are organisations that can help:
- You can report a crime to the police here.
- Call The National Rape Crisis Helpline on 0808 500 2222
- Call the RSACC support line on 0300 222 5730
- Visit RSAAC's website here.
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