A YORK woman has told an inquest how her husband died in the River Ouse after being unable to cope with the chronic pain he was suffering.

Roz Gray said her husband Roger, 79, left their home in Clifton Moor alone on June 20, 2021, and told her not to contact the police, but she did so.

He drove to the river and entered the water, and the inquest was told that police found his body in the water two hours later near the A1237 outer ring road bridge.

Coroner Jon Heath said in a narrative conclusion that, on the balance of probabilities, he was satisfied Mr Gray had intended to take his own life.

He said tests had shown he had not drowned but died as a result of significant heart disease combined with immersion in water.

Mrs Gray said in a statement that her husband was so desperate that he took his own life and couldn't be saved.

The Northern Echo: Roger and Ros Gray, pictured on their wedding dayRoger and Ros Gray, pictured on their wedding day (Image: Roz Gray)

She said she had tried desperately to get him help for his physical and mental health but he was unable to get any diagnosis or effective help.

She said Roger had always been an active and independent person, who ran his own business as a gardener and had a great sense of humour.

His health had begun to deteriorate in January 2021 after having a kidney removed. His physical health rapidly declined which in turn affected his mental health. He constantly stated to health professionals he saw or spoke to that, if his physical symptoms could be improved, then his mental health would improve. 

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"I feel this was overlooked and the problem became more about the mental health rather than the physical health which was the underlying cause," she said.

"Whilst in hospital, a nurse with an appalling bedside manner told him he was a 'waste of space,' which increased his anxieties even further.

"When he came home he struggled with the burning, couldn't bear to go outside on warm days, cried constantly, spent most of his time in bed, had given up reading books, could only eat soft foods and did not want family visiting as he didn’t want them to see him in this state," she said.

She said his anxiety increased so much that he said: "I can't live my life like this anymore. It's ruined. Nobody believes me and nobody will help me.

"All I want is to get rid of the pain and the burning, but nobody can help me."

The Northern Echo: Roger Gray, who died in the River OuseRoger Gray, who died in the River Ouse (Image: Roz Gray)

She added: "He was so distraught, in so much distress, desperately trying to take medication and threatening to take his own life every day for eight weeks."

Mrs Gray told The Press after the hearing that, until the inquest, she had been unaware that Roger had previously been down to the river on June 15, 2021, but decided he could not go through with it and abandoned the plan. 

"He tried to seek self help and saw a mental health nurse that same afternoon," she said.

"No one has any idea what we both went through every day of his final eight weeks and Roger could see it was also affecting my life and health. We exhausted every avenue to try and get him some help."

Roger's stepdaughter, Lisa Fereday, said:“Roger did not in fact want to end his own life – all he wanted to end was the suffering from his physical health problems.

"He wanted to get better and return to his normal life. How much suffering must a person be in, that they feel their only option left is to take their own life?"

*The Samaritans say that whatever you're going through, you can call them for free, at any time, from any phone, on 116 123.