Eating Out: Take a big appetite to the Black Swan, Kirkby in Cleveland

The problem was always how one could rate the food quality, service, surroundings and value offered when the places sampled were so varied. If one week we visited a fine dining restaurant and then the following week we went to a greasy spoon café how could we judge them and expect readers to elicit any worthwhile information?

We have tried to work on the basis that while two such establishments were not strictly comparable, both could score a ten for food quality, say, if they were top notch in their category of business.

That was the theory and hopefully no one seriously analysed them and found loads of inconsistencies – which, of course, there are bound to have been.

And then there are places which do their best to defy this sort of crude classification, that are brilliant in some ways but not so good in others.

Like the Black Swan in Kirkby in Cleveland, the most traditional and characterful of village pubs, built of that beautiful honeyed Moors stone with an interior which looks as if it has been largely untouched for a generation.

Eating Out at The Black Swan, Kirkby in Cleveland

To be fair nothing was actually that bad at the Black Swan, with the exception perhaps of the carpet in the lounge bar/dining area which might possibly be as old as the pub itself.

Where it was brilliant was value, a judgment based upon the enormous volume of food it provided for four of us, including a son and partner who I have never, ever, seen decline a pudding because the main course had over-faced them.

And that was despite a wait of exactly an hour to build up an appetite.

We arrived mid-evening on a Friday and the Black Swan was half-full. We had booked a table and as we approached the bar the cheery barman pointed to the solitary table – the only one that had been laid for diners – indicating it was ours.

But then he quickly added that if we didn’t fancy that one – it was bang by the door we’d just come through from the cold – we could have another one “by the radiator”.

Sylvia’s never spurned the opportunity to huddle up to a hot lump of steel. Unfortunately, it was stone cold.

Eating Out at The Black Swan, Kirkby in Cleveland

Then began the long wait for our food – and it wasn’t clear why. There appeared to be only two other tables where food was being served.

But when it eventually arrived there was enough food to shut us all up, for some considerable time.

The style of cooking could be best described as agricultural. If you are looking for finesse, go elsewhere.

Eating Out at The Black Swan, Kirkby in Cleveland

But what might be lacking in elegance and subtlety is more than made up by the sheer quantity of food.

We had decided against starters in the hope – an ultimately vain one – that we would be able to accommodate a dessert. Fat chance.

Take my fish pie (£16.95), selected from an extensive “Catch of the Day” menu. A deep-sided bowl the size of a large dinner plate was filled with big chunks of white fish (cod and haddock), salmon and a bunch of king prawns swimming in a thick, if almost entirely unseasoned, white wine sauce.

On top of that was a layer of mashed potato – perhaps half an inch thick – and on top of that a pile of melted cheese. And it came with chips. And peas. Mountains of them.

Rob’s parmo – the ‘small one’ (£12.95, £13.95 for the large ) – was similarly proportioned. A huge slab of chicken breast escalope swamped in the béchamel sauce and another liberal sprinkling of melted cheese. There was dish of homemade coleslaw, garlic mayo, a big pile of chips and as a healthy extra no doubt – some salad garnish.

Calum’s hunter’s chicken (£11.95) was as above – big, bold and with lots of bacon, BBQ sauce and even more melted cheese.

Sylvia’s seabass with sweet chilli king prawns was altogether more restrained, although with six prawns on top of the sea bass fillet and new potatoes on the side it was hardly modest.

It had not been plated up very cleverly, however, with seabass skin side up. Sylvia had to sweep the prawns and chilli sauce to one side to flip it over to get to the firm white flesh.

Everything we ate was well cooked from good-quality ingredients, if a little under seasoned. The bill was £77.80 and £27 of that was drinks with Calum and Rob enjoying the selection of well-kept ales.

In these acutely cost-conscious times, that sort of value cannot be faulted. But take a big appetite with you and a doggy bag too.

The Black Swan

Kirkby in Cleveland, Busby Lane, near Stokesley, TS9 7AW

Tel: 01642 712512 Web: www.theblackswankirkby.co.uk

Open for food: Monday-Thursday 4-9pm, Friday and Saturday noon-9pm, Sunday noon-4pm

Ratings (out of ten): Food quality 7 Service 6 Surroundings 7 Value for money 10