Torpedo Round Up

Torpedo Consett DX 1 East Durham Utd Harriers 5The old adage says a game of two halves and boy this was it. In a nutshell DX were still at home in bed during the first half. The first goal went in after two and a half minutes. The defence was standing looking at the view as the Harriers players were behind them scoring a goal. Jacob MacShane had bravely volunteered to go in goal as Harry Lapsatis was missing due to an international call up from St Mary's Blackhill. It went from bad to worse after that as they seemed to withdraw even further and stood watching again and again. It was not good spectator sport from the Consett faithful.

The half time whistle could not come soon enough and although we went close as Olly St Julian hit both posts, the defensive frailties were difficult to comprehend after the previous week's success. It was some straight talking at half time by the manager and a wake up call for DX. The alarm went off and they at last turned out ready to play.

New boy Richie "Ricardo" Parlour volunteered for the goalie jersey and the team was obviously in a different frame of mind as they kept good positions and started playing some football. We forced two corners and had a good shot cleared off the line as Alex "Ming the Merciless" Cramb swung his right foot from 6 yards. The Ref was indecisive and couldn't make up his mind whether to play the back pass rule or not. We had three good shouts turned down and finally got one on the by-line to the right of the Harriers goal. This was cleared again off the line but DX pressed forward and gained the advantage with another corner. Alex Pearson stepped up and delivered a cracker which was loose in the box as Alex Cramb put it beyond the impressive Harriers goalkeeper.Callum Brooks redeemed himself in the second half with a solid performance as did Olly St Julian. Daniel Drummond caused the Harriers all sorts of problems. Jacob MacShane did a great stopping job and cleared his lines with vigour. Jack Cramb was a different player in the second half and made some great challenges and passed the ball out to the wing with great accuracy.

A very strange game all in all and I hope we don't see another half like the first one again!

Man of the Match award Alex Cramb

Peter Haney Best Attitude Award Alex PearsonRef 6/10Saturday Sept 15th 2007 11.55amTorpedo Consett 3 East Durham Utd Tornados 0Torpedo went into this game hopeful of a good win with the return of Josh The Caveman' Hillary and also knowing Tornado suffered a heavy defeat the previous week. The presence of one key Tornado player was, however, to present a major hurdle if victory was to be theirs.

As the match kicked off Torpedo imposed themselves early doors. Barely a minute had elapsed when James picked out a Joe R run with an inch perfect pass. Joe took it first time and it was just wide of the post.

George and Joe H were holding the defensive position well and it was allowing Ben to push forward and help the attack. A 3rd minute corner lofted by Liam found Joe R inside the box and again the effort was close. Pressure built with a further corner and a series of throw-ins down the left with the 7th minute seeing Joe R supplying Liam who was denied by the keeper.

Yes it was Peter Schmeichel's grandson in goal and he was having a blinder.

It was the 9th minute when Joe R unleashed a 15 metre shot which Schmeichel held well and even the partisan crowd applauded. George continued to control things down the defensive right and this allowed James to probe with a great run. He got into the box and beat off the attention of two defenders before Schmeichel smothered the shot. A lesser team would have become frustrated, but not Torpedo.

It was the 13th minute when the breakthrough finally came. Joe H won the ball on the left and fed it into Joe R who swiftly picked out Ben. Ben was fully 18 metres out but lashed the ball over Schmeichel. Tornado were stunned.

Joe R produced another great shot over the bar before Tornado attempted to equalise. Their build-up through the middle was met by a fantastic clearance from Ben who had remembered his defensive duties well. Another shot saw the ever alert Cat gather and supply a quick counter-attack with Liam finding acres of space down the left he skipped past the full-back and passed to James who saw his shot produce another great save from Schmeichel.

Cameron and The Cavemen were on in the 2nd half and on 17 minutes they were both involved in a great move. Liam fed James on the right who passed to Cameron. It was the centre forward who then picked out Josh's excellent run but Schmeichel was again out to thwart the chance. George was off with a recurrence of his foot problem but he looked on in admiration as Big Joe cleared his lines with a massive defensive header.

The heading practise the previous night had borne fruit.

19 minutes and daylight between the 2 teams. Josh worked to release James who quickly found Liam and Liam made no mistake for 2-0. (Liam's Mam explained to waiting press at the end of the match that the same Swiss specialist who looked after Josh's elbow had recommended a special spray for Liam's persistent ligament problem and it was working a treat' she said.) Liam forced another great save from Schmeichel before Torpedo made it 3-0.

It was good work from Ben in the 26th minute supplying James who took the ball forward and struck a beauty from outside the box to seal the points.

Cameron continued to get involved, supplying James and also producing his own shot to test the keeper late in the game.

The game ended 3-0 but the keeper had prevented a much higher score. Even the Cat was forced to acknowledge a fellow master between the sticks.

M o M - Liam Jobling

Best Attitude - Joe RobsonRef - 8/10 Saturday Sept 15th 2007 1.05pmEast Durham Utd Tornados 0 Torpedo Consett DX 5DX were away to Tornados in this late Summer fixture and faced a hostile crowd.

Daniel took it upon himself to silence the crowd in the first minute with a storming run down the right. Before reaching the bi-line he launched an angled shot which took a partial deflection and flew into the net. There was no way he was going to let this go down as an own-goal and celebrated madly.

On 3 minutes some great DX pressure from Jack first and then Olly led to a corner. Alex P powered over a cross and there was Emperor Ming pouncing inside the box. His cultured right foot made it 2-0.

Tornado were resting Schmeichel who had been outstanding in the earlier game against Torpedo and DX were making the most of it.

Callum had been told of the speedy left winger but he tracked his every movement while Olly and Jack were dealing with threats down the middle and the right.

Harry was instructing the troops in front of him with vigour and was enjoying his return from international duty at Burnhope.

7 minutes had elapsed before the best goal of the match made it 3-0.

Olly was first to every ball down the left and his pace and trickery were producing openings. After a typical dribbling run he found Emperor Ming with a perfect pass. Alex pressured down the left and outpaced the right back. He curled a ball into the box and it was met at full pelt by Daniel The Poacher'. Admittedly it was off his knee but the resident reporter, Alan Oliver from the Evening Chronicle, still argued it was a candidate for goal of the season.

The weather was cooling but DX decided to turn up the heat.

On 8 minutes Olly and Callum combined to snuff out a Tornado attack and Callum quickly got the ball to Alex P who pushed into the middle and zipped a ball which dissected the opposition backline. Emperor Ming was haring forward and slid to meet the ball. He just missed connecting and the keeper breathed a huge sigh of relief.

On 14 minutes DX produced another stunner. Jack fought for the ball and got it through to his brother who again broke left. Alex P was screaming for the ball and the Emperor duly obliged. Alex P took one toch and buried the ball into the bottom corner 4-0.

Olly was twice denied late on as was Alex C as DX finished strongly.

In the 2nd half Schmeichel returned in goal for Tornado to stem the flow. Tornado were pushing forward down the right and Jacob battled hard to keep the danger away. Richie was down the middle and began snapping at the opposition midfield to try to create some openings. Alex C tackled hard picked himself up tackled again and won a corner. Richie and Olly moved in only to see Schmeichel calmly gather.

The clearance caught DX out and Harry had to be alert to beat the Tornado centre forward to the ball. Harry produced a great kick which reached Olly who immediately let fly but Schmeichel was again equal to the task.

On 21 minutes Jack had pushed into midfield and, with a bravery typical of the Cramb boys, he dived into a tackle to win the ball. Unfortunately he jarred his knee badly and was in extreme pain. Mick and Anthony rushed to administer first aid but there was no way he could carry on.

It was the 22nd minute when Olly again broke free and tested Schmeichel who dived full length to tip the ball past the post. Minute 23 saw Alex C dedicate goal number 5 to his brother.

Jacob won the tackle in defence and the ball reached Richie who managed to supply Alex P. Another strong forward run had the opposition back peddling and the ball found Alex C in space. His shot evaded Schmeichel's outstretched hand and it was 5-0.

Tornado pressured in the final five minutes and forced 2 successive corners, the second of which bounced dangerously before Harry was able to save.

A 3rd corner saw all the DX team back defending the clean sheet. Alex P got the ball in his own half and accelerated like an Olympic sprinter to the other end of the pitch. No-one could catch him. As he closed in on goal Schmeichel came out the edge off his box. Alex unleashed a powerful low shot but Schmeichel's outstretched leg turned the ball past the post. Alan Oliver commented that he had not seen a better save since Gordon Banks denied Pele way back when.

M o M - Callum Brooks

Best Attitude - Jacob MacShaneRef - 7/10Saturday 15TH September 2007East Durham United Vulcans 0 Torepdo Consett 14This game was really rather strange in every respect. Torpedo were really keen and swept forward passing the ball with great accuracy. It was only a matter of time and that was one and a half minutes when James "Hippy" Wilkinson scored a great goal after a fantastic cross from George Lovett who bravely played with an injury today.

Some great interaction between Joe and Liam resulted in two great goals for the Burnhope Grump within the next two minutes. It was I am afraid, lambs to the slaughter but we did keep our shape and try a few players out of normal positions to give them experience that is sometimes needed.

Ben Parkes was his customary self and nearly got on the score sheet twice but played some great passes all over the pitch. Cameron Hume has really given everyone a lift and his enthusiasm is second to none. He is improving with every game.

In the end it was five goals for Joe the best of which was a superb header after a pinpoint cross from Liam, three for Liam the best which was an individual effort after a run from half way, three for Josh back from injury, two for Hippy who is scoring really well and first of the season for Big Joe the Langley Park Legend who scored a great header from close range.

It was obviously important today to score goals and keep clean sheets and they did both.

The gulf in this league is wide and we must look at consistent performances against all to be successful.

Man of the Match James WilkinsonPeter Haney Best Attitude Award Liam JoblingRefs Award 9 for staying awake.