Americans will understand the title, but the Brits, alas, will not.

Calgon is a type of bath additive sold in America, sort of like Radox is here. They used to run an advert in the USA showing a harried, over worked , over stressed woman in the bath relaxing and forgetting all her problems saying "Calgon take me away".

OK, now that we have that established ,let's carry on. (When I just can't take it anymore, that phrase comes to mind.) I have a question that just begs to be answered...why oh why is England so obsessed with D list celebrities? I guess The Beckhams aren't exactly "D list", but I'm very sick of hearing about Mrs. Beckham and her big move to America.

America can have her as far as I'm concerned and good riddance. She'll fit right in with the other vapid and braindead people in Hollywood.

What though, is the fascination in this country with silly people with no talent who have no redeeming qualities whatsoever? Why are they on magazine covers, given their own TV shows, allowed to "write" books and generally encouraged? The mind boggles.

Ok, I know in the USA we have our Britneys and our Paris Hiltons, but we don't seem to have as many as you do here. The ads for magazines on the telly at night scream "what does so and so think of size zero"? Who cares what some no talent woman (who is only known because she sleeps with a footballer)...thinks. Do you care? I don't.

Maybe it's because I'm way over twenty one and all grown up that I just don't "get it". I used to love to read movie magazines when I was young and would drink in all the latest gossip on my favourite celebrities, but let's face it folks...those people REALLY WERE celebrities and didn't run around showing off their body parts and were never photographed in any compromising situations.

No matter what they got up to in their spare time, you never had to read about it, as that was private. There were no crazy photographers following people around trying to get that "million dollar shot" and no one had ever heard of a stalker.

A friend and I were in London two years ago and she managed to get us into the Ivy Restaurant for dinner. Barbara Windsor and a few people off "Eastenders" were there and were very quiet and well behaved.

When we exited the Ivy, the photographers pounced out, looked at us, and basically said "they're nobody" and walked away. I think in this day and age, I'm quite happy to be nobody! I can't imagine having my every move scrutinised and having people leaping out of the bushes at me.

I'll never understand though, how being on a TV reality show in this country makes you a celebrity, especially when you can't even string words together to form a complete sentence.

Let's go back to the days of REAL honest to God celebrities with , dare I say it...talent? Make the "no talents" go out and find a real job and stop paying them for nothing.