THE seeds of football's madness may have been sown around the time George Eastham had the maximum wage abolished, but the game still retained a reasonable level of sanity even when Brian Clough paid £1m for Trevor Francis.

However, the last ten years have seen any semblance of marbles vanish completely, as confirmed by John Terry's £130,000-a-week wages and Sunderland's payment of £9m for an onion bag custodian.

Whatever he does to justify costing as much as a Beverley Hills mansion, Craig Gordon cannot possibly command a place in Sunderland folklore to match that of Jimmy Montgomery, the man so famously embraced by Bob Stokoe for his 1973 FA Cup-winning saves.

Only Gordon Banks has pulled off a more famous save, but the new Gordon will surely prove a greater hit than his predecessor as Sunderland's most expensive signing, the hapless Tore Andre Flo, for whom Peter Reid so misguidedly lashed out £8m.

We can dismiss these vast sums as meaningless monopoly money. But Stadium of Light fans would not have said so as they were plunged into days of darkness by Reid's desperate investments, and Leeds United fans might not see it that way as they start the season 15 points behind Hartlepool.

Reid threw silly money at his attempt to consolidate a top six Premiership place, and Leeds chucked such outrageous amounts into buying permanent Champions League status that they are now teetering on the edge of existence.

It would be easy to say that the £7.7m for which the Inland Revenue is holding out is less than the cost of a goalkeeper, but they are absolutely right to demand the full amount as it's tax-payers' money.

Ken Bates has got his come-uppance for so disgracefully trying to avoid the 15-point deduction by going into administration just before relegation was confirmed last season. Doubtless the Revenue's intransigence has prevented him from sorting out matters as he intended over the summer, but given the volatility of Leeds fans he'd better wear a flak jacket and surround himself by bodyguards this season.

AS I had neither a flak jacket nor a helmet, I declined an invitation to face some Durham bowlers in the Riverside nets this week as part of Friends Provident's promotion ahead of next Saturday's final at Lord's.

I've long been aware that most professional sportsmen are no more likely than the amateurs to accept that along with all the adulation can come occasional criticism. Wondering whether I had sufficient life insurance for my family to cope without me, I therefore stood back while younger members of the Press corps donned inadequate protection.

Someone from Sky who had been stylishly practising his shots ahead of the confrontation was heard to whimper: "I thought you said I wouldn't need a thigh pad," after being struck a painful blow by Neil Killeen.

The first two balls to the man from The Journal were both bouncers, the second of which would have taken his head off had it been straight. Presumably Friends Provident had the insurance sorted out.

THERE used to be another Gordon Brown. Fondly remembered as Broon of Troon, he was a lock forward fit to rank alongside the best, although great Scots seem not to register in the thoughts of two ex-England locks, Martin Johnson and Paul Ackford.

When Johnson revealed his best-ever World XV, Ackford responded with a team to beat it. Between them they named five Englishmen, three Welshmen and three Irish, but there was not a Scot in sight.

The problem is that those who leap to mind are competing with legends. Full backs Andy Irvine and Gavin Hastings, for example, cannot hope to oust Serge Blanco and JPR Williams, while Gary Armstrong is up against Gareth Edwards and Joost van der Westhuizen, and there are the likes of Colin Meads and Willie John McBride ahead of Brown and Doddie Weir.

But if the 1971 Lions are greatest ever team, as some believe, what about props Sandy Carmichael and Ian "Mighty Mouse" McLauchlan? Can Johnson really be confident that Jason Leonard was better than them?

Jonny Wilkinson makes Johnson's XV, presumably for his goal-kicking and tackling as there have been half a dozen Welsh fly halves with greater flair and maybe even the odd Scot. But even without the bits he has had removed, such as his appendix, Jonny remains the most complete package and there is a growing perception that if he stays fit England's World Cup defence will be a spirited one.

Even last weekend's demolition of the Welsh also-rans, however, failed to mask the fact that pragmatism will come before entertainment.