AT CHRISTMAS, my daughter was incensed about the minor role Mrs Claus plays in the Santa Claus story.

Shrugging off the risk of getting a bag of coal on Christmas morning, she declared how sexist she thought Father Christmas was, because he got all the glory and Mrs Claus 'just got to clean up and cook his meals'.

Last week, she looked at herself in the mirror and said she was fat. She's 11.

She's not fat at all, she's actually verging on being underweight. She's just developing, becoming a woman.

I've taught her about equality, I've tried to be a positive female role model, I've bought her books about amazing women. She's very aware of feminism – more so than I ever was.

But I can't compete with the images she sees on TV, on YouTube, the make up tutorials, the comparisons with her peers, the Barbie dolls she has played with throughout her childhood. And now my beautiful little girl thinks she's fat and is measuring her own worth by this.

You can have all the #MeToo hashtags you like, the actors can dress up in white or black or sky blue pink with polka dots for the Golden Globes, but they are the ones pushing an unrealistic ideal.

When Jennifer Lawrence appears on the front cover of a magazine, her legs airbrushed to the size of twigs and her skin given an unrealistic iridescence, it's children like my daughter who think they're not good enough because they're not the size of a lollipop stick. And they will measure their own worth by their looks and nothing else.

Today, I will talk to her about International Women's Day. I will talk to her about equal pay, about equality of opportunity.

When she's a little older I'll talk to her about sexual harassment, about boundaries, about relationships. I hope her adult world will be a little kinder to women than it was when I first became an adult. And perhaps it will be a little better for her daughter after her.

This year marks 100 years since women got the vote. Women can now lawfully go to university, take contraception, have abortions, and supposedly have equality of opportunity – although there is a long way to go with this.

The women in Saudi Arabia, not allowed to leave the house uncovered or unescorted, may eye our freedoms jealously.

And yes, we have come a long, long way from 100 years ago. Legally, and in the workplace, we are heading towards equality.

But this week figures showed police attended a huge surge in domestic abuse call-outs. #MeToo has highlighted sexual harassment, but under the radar and behind far too many closed doors in the UK there are women suffering from threats, rape, stalking, or violence.

Talk to your daughters – and your sons – about equality. But also talk about their personal relationships.

For that is surely the next battleground of feminism - equality in relationships, and the root of violence against women – society's attitudes and some men's insecurities. And that is where our girls can be most vulnerable.

Last year in the UK, a woman was killed by a man every 2.6 days. That's almost three women a week. Equality? I don't think so.