You know you’re getting older when you use what you think is an everyday word but the twenty something generation have never heard of it!

A case in point last week, when I was talking to one of my customers about Kodachrome film that we used to use in instamatic cameras. My junior stylist, Caitlin, who is 20yr old, looked puzzled and asked what we were on about. It hadn’t struck me that someone of that age didn’t know about film in cameras; that’s the digital age for you! The poor girl looked aghast when we explained how you had to wait for over a week to get your photographs back from Boots on return from a holiday and when I told her that, when once wearing a white suit with a black shirt underneath, my mother said I looked like a negative, the poor lass just shook her head.

It put me in mind of another little incident I had when out shopping a few years ago.
My mum had just moved house and as there was a large fence around the property, she wanted my brother and I to install a gate at the back for easy access. We cut a hole in the fence and made the gate and as my brother fitted the hinges, I took myself off to Wilkinsons to buy a catch. As you go into Wilko’s there’s an information desk at the front and to save time I went straight up to the young lad who was stationed there and asked “Do you sell snecks?” The poor lad looked confused and  asked me to repeat my enquirers. “SNECKS man, you know, they’re used on gates and outside toilets!” “OUTSIDE TOILETS!?” says the assistant, “Do you mean portaloos?” The situation was saved when an older chap interceded and with a grin told the young lad I was looking for a ‘Suffolk Latch’. The young lad went off to find the catch giggling and muttering something about outside toilets!

I was recalling this story to Barbi Close on Saturday and she told me how it put her in mind of her favourite joke that used to be told by Cockfield legend, Trevor Shaw aka Seth Shildon. Trevor used to run the Sun Inn, was a club land agent and in his day, one of the best comedians of his time. He would not only tell brilliant jokes but would combine them with observational humour, quite often centred around Cockfield, which went down well in the North East clubs even if it was lost on audiences further south!

THE FOLLOWING JOKE CONTAINS ADULT HUMOUR!

Many years ago, houses in Mayfield Terrace Cockfield, had an outside toilet situated at the top of their long gardens and during the cold winters they would often freeze up. On one such early morning, Gladys had gone to use her loo only to find it frozen. Walking back towards the house, to get some boiling water to unfreeze the loo, she sees Betty, from next door, heading back towards her house from her outside loo.
“Is ya s£*thouse working?” says Gladys.
“Eee no hunnie!” says Betty. “He’s still in bed!”

Stories to nigeldowson@yahoo.co.uk